BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: Doublewide

This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.

18 Reviews for Doublewide - Displaying 14-18

grossest dog ever
Posted by qtbitch12 [Read other reviews by qtbitch12]
(1/2 bone)

hello this is my first review so please be gentle.

saw this dog working his way through a big garbage bag full of arby's food on the corner of buhne street and king tut road. where does a dog get a garbage bag full of discarded arby's food anyway??? no way he could climb into a dumpster since he is as fat as a whale. what i can't get over is how pleased he looked with himself, woofing down giant chunks of roast beef. I wanted to puke, but I was afraid he'd try to eat that too.

hope someone poisons this dog

HAS A TATTOO!!
Posted by ELMO STEPHENS [Read other reviews by ELMO STEPHENS]
(2 Bones)

NOW I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING. DOUBLEWIDE HAS A TATTOO OF A SWORD GOING THROUGH A CAT'S SKULL ON HIS SIDE! NEVER SEEN A DOG WITH A TATTOO AND NEVER IMAGINED I WOULD. TRIED TO PET HIM BUT HE SNAPPED AND TRIED TO BITE MY HAND. I JUMPED BACK AND HE STARTED TO CHASE ME BUT HE WAS SO FAT HE JUST KIND OF WADDLED AFTER ME BEFORE FALLING OVER AND COUGHING UP A BIG WAD OF HARDENED SALIVA. IT WAS LIKE A BIG BASEBALL MADE OF DOGSPIT. I THOUGHT MAYBE HE WAS DYING SO I TRIED TO PET HIM AGAIN AND THEN HE FARTED REALLY LOUD AND STARTED COUGHING SO I JUST GOT OUT OF THERE BEFORE ANYBODY SAID ANYTHING. NOT A FAN OF THIS DOG, ESPECIALLY AFTER I FOUND OUT HE WAS PART OF VERMIN'S GANG.

ELMO STEPHENS

Doublewide headed for double trouble???
Posted by K9Fan [Read other reviews by K9Fan]
(1 Bone)

Yesterday I was having lunch in my car in the Arby's parking lot. I noticed Doublewide standing near the back entrance door waiting patiently. After awhile a nervous employee cracked open the door and tossed out a garbage bag. Doublewide ripped into that bag and just started eating like a hog. I watched him do that for about ten minutes. Then he got up and started dragging the torn and tattered bag away. He disappeared behind some buildings and was well out of my sight.

After another five minutes I was getting ready to leave, but then I saw Auspice show up and start sniffing the area out. Once he got a whiff of Doublewide, he took off in a hurry. I wanted to follow and see if there was going to be a throw down, but I had to get back to work. About a minute after Auspice was gone, Rusty, Senator, Helmsman, Escapee and Dagger all showed up and got a whiff of the action. They all took off in a hurry, except for Senator, who stayed behind long enough to take a huge dump right outside the door. I guess some things never change. I'd say Doublewide is a goner for sure.

In serious danger of a heart attack
Posted by Doctor Dog [Read other reviews by Doctor Dog]
(1 Bone)

Whoever owns Doublewide deserves jail time. Allowing a canine to overeat to such a degree is just plain criminal. But what's worse is promoting such horrible behavior habits, and even reinforcing them with tattoos and encouragement. Doublewide consumes more food than any beast I've ever seen, and easily eats enough to feed a whole litter of healthy dogs. I suspect he is overdue for a massive heart attack and I wouldn't be surprised if he suffers from severe diabetes.

It's no wonder he is so vicious. He is likely trying to externalize the pain and suffering he feels within. Regardless, there is simply no excuse for his shameful actions or for keeping such sinister company.

DOUBLEWIDE IS DEAD!!
Posted by BiGDog [Read other reviews by BiGDog]
(1/2 Bone)

Well, well, well! Looks like --BiGDOG-- is always at the forefront of dog news! No surprise there! Doublewide is indeed dead.

Yeah, as some of you might have guessed by K9Fan's lackluster post, Doublewide found himself in a heap of trouble. Naturally "K9Fan" (some fan, *sigh*) only got half the facts, so --BiGDOG-- is here to give you the complete story. Sit boy!

Yesterday, Doublewide met up with Obscenity and Throughput, two more of Vermin's road agents, carrying a big sack of garbage. He was intending to give them their share, after he took his generous cut off the top. It's a pretty frequent occurrence and any self-respecting dogspotter in this community should know about this stuff already.

While the three dogs were dining on garbage, Auspice came out of nowhere and attacked. He was pretty much a loose cannon, no control and wild as hell. While I think Auspice is overrated, I always considered him a pretty rational dog. Well, he was anything but this time. He was outnumbered and they quickly got the best of him. Lucky for him, he seems to have a common ally in the form of Rusty's crew. They jumped in and turned the tide of the battle. Obscenity and Throughput managed to get away with some serious bites and scratches, but Doublewide couldn't get far. According to my sources, Doublewide made a valiant effort to escape. That big lard was like a sweating tank waddling away as no less than six dogs rammed, bit, and scratched at him. After a 30 foot charge, Doublewide started playing dead with all the dedication of a method actor.

Rusty and Senator didn't stop and tore his corpse up pretty bad. Obviously it was personal with them.

Don't go thinking that Vermin's gang is any less dangerous. The dogboards have all been buzzing with news that Vermin has been recruiting new dogs, particularly a lot of county dogs. I'm talking dogs like Scapegoat, Compost, Pitchfork, El Cráneo Negro, and Tetanus, who just served a long stint in the pound. These are some serious contenders that have long terrorized the unincorporated areas outside Shaggy Butte. If they are in town, things are about to heat up.

If not for great dogs like Behemoth, Partisan, Valedictorian, Santiago, and Theremin, I'd think the dogs in this town were a lost cause. Of course even if every single dog in the area was rotten, Panzer would still even things out for the better.

LOOKS LIKE --BiGDOG-- JUST GAVE YOU A TREAT! SIT PRETTY, BUSTER!

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– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)