Grandpa Story Xchange

WV grandpa, 89, IOWA "JUST GRANDPA"
My grandpa loves toy trains and since he retired in 1984 its all he does. Light senility on some of the stories but thats just like seasoning on a prime cut of beef! These arent just run of your mill train stories either grandpa has a great imagination and a detailed understanding of trains. This is a must have for all grandpa story collectors!! Some BGS and GSS, but its not very explicit.

SAMPLE

Hoopers's got them German trains in now and I think I am going to do a Ruhr set based all on german steam trains of the mid 19th century. The sets are a little pricey but I think if I just piece it together one a week or so and reuse spare tracks from my Great Western setup I should be just fine and dandy. You know grandma said she might be able to make little tracks out of toothpicks but with her arthritis I don't want to get her started on a project like that. You know once she puts her mind to it she won't stop, even if she's in all kinds of pain. The real trick though is going to be the steam whistle. I heard a great whistle on a train, wow, must be going on 70 years ago now. This was at the stockyards in Des Moines when I was riding the rails for a summer. It had this really deep hoot and then sort of a high-pitched toot-toot at the end. Really impressed me at the time and I can still hear it now.

WV grandpa, 83, Russian "Viktor"
Granda is drunk and doesnt give a fuck about anything. He will rant and rave about friends, family, enemies, celebrities, politics, whatever comes to mind. When I was just a little kid grandpa scared me with his yellingh now its awesome as hell and you can enjoy the benefits of my grandpa viktor. RIP grandpa.

SAMPLE

Hillary Clinton my dick. I knew a kid in shop class by the name of Ted that looked more like a girl. The only reason she is staying with that hillbilly fuck of a husband of hers is because she's a goddamn starfucker. You can't let go of that shit comet now can you you sassy little bitch. Gloria. Gloria! Gloria where the fuck are my pretzels? No, not the sourdough kike pieces of shit I want the real Rold motherfucking Gold pretzels. The one with that bald faggot from the TV running around doing shit. Thank you baby you know Viktor loves you. You know it. Get me another Stoli, sweet-tits. Hey, hey, turn the channel. Turn the channel! I don't want to see no Larry fucking King. Put on Morton Downey.