The Most Brutal Death Scenes in Jurassic Park + World

We, as a society, are now responsible for five Jurassic Park movies. That's a lot of characters finding themselves surprisingly surprised (and killed) by dinosaurs who have escaped captivity. I recently rewatched the entire series, and you know what? Some of those deaths were far more cruel and graphic than I remembered.

For my money, these were the most brutal ways a human met their end on screen.

• Shot to death with a gun by a drifter, who had been hired by a jealous Brachiosaurus
• Slipped on a toy left on the stairs by a neglectful Pentaceratops, broke neck
• Stabbed with a broken bottle in a bar fight with an Aeolosaurus
• Pulled into an enormous industrial machine on the job, having been hired as an independent contractor by a Sinornithosaurus and provided with zero safety training
• Died on the operating table during a routine appendectomy performed by an apologetic Tyrannosaurus Rex
• Fatally poisoned by eating a fugu fish that had been improperly prepared by a new chef, an Apatosaurus
• Died during autoerotic asphyxiation after an Iguanodon enthusiastically suggested the process
• Trampled to death, by other humans, who were crowding to get the autograph of a very cool Triceratops as it stepped out of a limo and lowered its shades
• Burned alive in a house fire caused by faulty Christmas tree lights sold by a Deinonychus
• Dared by an Allosaurus to balance on an upper deck handrail during a major league baseball game, plummeted eighty feet
• Choked to death on a potato chip while a Diplodocus struggled to remember the Heimlich maneuver
• Turned on a gas stove, got distracted by a phone call from a Palaeoscincus telemarketer, forgot to turn the gas off and took a nap
• Slipped in a bathtub that had been overly cleaned and polished by a Stegosaurus maid
• Approached a lost Hypacrosaurus' car to give directions, hit by bus
• Set adrift and lost to the void during a routine spacewalk due to miscalculated backpack thruster instructions by a Velociraptor at Mission Control
• Bent over to pick up a quarter dropped by a Pterodactyl, got sucked into the engine of a taxiing jumbo jet
• Struck by lightning while adjusting a rooftop antenna so a Sauropelta houseguest could catch Jeopardy
• Fell out of a roller coaster designed by a Ceratosaurus

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)