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Thursday, Jan 29, 2004 by Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

THE PAGE OF SHAME

Hey gang, it's time to drive our happy little Phriday off a cliff. To those of you who don't know or never read anything I write – in which case you probably aren't reading this now – this is where I take a few moments to sit back, relax, and cry like a little girl over the fact a few people submitted pictures I didn't like. I don't claim to be even remotely funny, so if you guys don't like inane rambling you can just look at the pictures and vomit all over your respective laps.

5318008 has shown some decent skill in past Phriday contributions, but here he just totally misses the boat. I realize we have a lot of repeat humor, and that after nearly two years there is still almost always a wookiee or an ewok or some such in every single Phriday. But let's face it - there is something about Star Wars and other movie clichés that are just so goofy that they never get old so long as they are limited to small doses (Admiral Ackbar being a an example of a major overdose). One recurring cliché I cannot stand is seeing the vulger head of Ron Jeremy (or Michael Jackson, George Bush, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, etc.) get poorly pasted into images. Sure 5318008 kind of made a joke with his picture, but it still looks ugly. Maybe I'm on my own here, but I've really never taken a shine to jokes about fat hairy men ejaculating all over a naked woman's equally naked face. I know it happens and that it's a part of our modern world, but we can certainly strive for a lot more in Photoshop Phriday, an important forum for advancing visual communications.

Okay, okay, you know you want to laugh at this piece of shit. FindingEmo managed to be funny as far from the concept of effort as possible. Congrats, you cheated the system in your own special way.

localClient gets the credit for this lovely and largely moronic exercise in wasted energy. Not every movie involving somebody in a bunny suit can be as deeply moving as the cinematic tour de force that is Donnie Darko, nor can any movie with a guy in a bunny suit forcibly pasted in be as funny as the cinematic tour de force that is Donnie Darko. So fuck this, I'm going to go watch Donnie Darko.

terroristteddy boasted that he made this in MS Paint. Thanks for completely forgetting to read the name of the feature, you lousy weasel. I don't care if people use Photoshop or a Photoshop equivalent, but I don't want to see crappy, pixilated garbage you threw together in ten minutes with a graphics program so primitive you may as well be taking photographs of your Etch-A-Sketch drawings and sending those in. And a joke about Bill Gates? Sure he's richer than God, and sure he can probably push a button and have a robot come give him a blowjob, but does anyone really want him dead? I mean seriously, anyone who isn't in his will? Mr. Gates, I love you and your money. Please pay my student loans.

Thank you very much for this picture, VoiceOfAnarchy. If there is one face I love seeing more than Ron Jeremy's, it would have to be the beautiful mug of John Wayne Gacy, famous clown with a murder habit. Here we see him, a predator, getting eaten by an alien. How whimsical. His blending job is particularly sensational, because after he pasted Gacy's head in and blurred it all haphazard-like, it appears he used Photoshop's beloved "Plastic Wrap" filter, which has about -5 valid uses. I get that you were trying to make it look like it was covered with goo, but you just make it look even more hideous. Please don't take this personally, VoiceOfAnarchy, but every night I pray to Jesus that a comet or a helicopter or possibly even a large man falls on top of you, killing you instantly.
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Photoshop Phriday showcases the tremendous image manipulation talents of the Something Awful Forum Goons. Each week they tackle a new theme, parodying movies, video games, comics, history, and anything else you can think of. If you want in on the action, join us on the Something Awful Forums!

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