"He still so wants me." -- me, regarding every Facebook engagement announcement
— Zooey Davechappelle (@mauracakes) October 22, 2012
Apparently saying "Let's get married!!!" to a guy isn't a very good pick up line.
— Tricia(@Im_Tricia) October 20, 2012
I think I'm probably pretty enough to play a young mom in a Swiffer ad.
— Zoë Klar (@madamezooble) October 19, 2012
My phone automatically changes “murdering” to “murderorgies.” Who’s free tonight?
— Kelly Pentland (@MmeSurly) October 22, 2012
My existence is like the scene in Dumb and Dumber when Jeff Daniels screams "BE RIGHT OUT" while frantically trying to flush his colon shame
— Nikki Walter (@TurboGrandma) October 21, 2012
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!
Previous Articles
- Best Porn Comments
- The best of @J_Chastain
- @dril's Greatest Hits
- Dr. David Thorpe Meets Pitbull
- @degg's Greatest Hits
Suggested Articles
What's Hot
Popular Threads
Anybody else freaked out by that yellow banner?
I found the roundest bird at work- The demented cartoon movie [2001]
South Korea declares martial law
Ridiculous things that have happened that nobody saw
Tillamook it's the ice cream to serve
Wim Hof Method
I stepped on a scorpion this morning and it stung me underneath my foot :(