Sex with a porn star, ha! Never gonna happen. But the life of a eunuch? Oh yes, the power is in your hands.


Aha, I see what you did there.


Any men out there wanna chop their balls off and be my fake dad?


Dry ice over a razor blade? You are not living up to emo expectations!


Special thanks to forums ball-butchers Cuddlebottom, Valencia, Crud Bonemeal, ItsThatGuy, King Lou, tacothesmurf, axleblaze, and ohnoyoudidnt for their image contributions. Feel free to send me an email if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions for future Weekend Webs.

– Chris "Kewpuh" Binkley

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