A dirty woman bites you and gives you an infection and suddenly you're Count Fucking Dracula.

It's gotta be because you're all so fun to be around.

The threads where people split hairs about stupid shit that doesn't actually exist are my favorites.

I know that some people see women as objects but I didn't think anyone saw them as biological soda machines.

Sleeping with your decorative knife collection is never recommended.

1. No.
2. He's not.
3. A few too many off the side of a bridge.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2023 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful