WWW.KENT.COM

WWW.KENT.COM, submitted by Stefan!. Sometimes we run across some bad sites when we scour the depths of internet hell looking for things to amuse you. Sometimes they are poorly-designed, sometimes they are a showcase for freaks and/or morons, sometimes they contain pictures that are unbelievably embarrassing and we wonder why anyone would have ever let those escape immolation let alone publishing them on the intarweb/nette. But it is a rare gem of a site indeed that contains all of these elements, and kent.com is just such a place.

I'm a Network Consultant, with 15 years experience in the design, implementation, optimization, and troubleshooting of large voice and data networks. I have a degree in Telecommunications Management from Golden Gate University and started my career as an Engineer for Lockheed Missiles & Space Company. I left Lockheed to join International Network Services (INS) in its early days and became their first Principal Consultant. Soon after INS merged into Lucent, I joined Callisma as a Senior Consultant. I am currently an independent consultant.

This person has single-handedly produced the poorest display of design prowess I think that I have ever seen. Every picture on his site is over 300k in size and there is a disgusting plethora of imbedded midi of 80's hits such as "Danger Zone" and "WeWill Rock You." There are also an abundance of flashing gifs and banners including some lovely twirling gears at the top of the page with a big rotating "KENT.COM" logo in the middle.

There are also two sections of this site labeled respectively "Members" and "Private" that when clicked on reveal entertaining and yet for some reason alarming messages such as:

Kent Schwartz' Personal Web Site

YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO VIEW THIS AREA!!!

Who are those guys!? I mean, who are they, anyway? Are they related!? I hope so.

The best part of this site by far is my inability to access Mr. Schwartz's private home automation system where he proudly displays the current temperature inside chez Kent. As I write this, have reason to believe that it is exactly 72 degrees Farenheit in his home and that this temperature is exactly the same upstairs as it is downstairs! AMAZING AND FASCINATING! I wish I could access his alarm system but I am having such a great time not accessing it that I think I'll just be content with this.

– Snakey Slithers