Brokenbit_h's Blog, submitted by Fuckfaceninja.I am steadfast in my convictions that a person must be subjected to a simple writing and competency test, much like the one to get a driver's license, in order to have their own website. Right now the Internet is as lawless as an old western town full of bandits and Chinamen. The freedom of the Internet is what makes it so great at times, yet so painfully terrible most of the time. For example, lets take a look at this website owned by a 17 year old girl from California by the name of "brokenbit_h". When you read this, keep in mind that this girl is old enough to drive a extremely dangerous vehicle, maybe in your neighborhood if you are unfortunate enough to live in California. Here is her bio:
"well letz see not tha ppl really care but : i likes go to da movies sleep hang with my friends watch movies n of course da music umm yea n more... my music is mostly rock and sum metal and punk i love to cook taken pix, and writing porems i like to do to umm chatin online with my frineds defintly the music and im a movie girl cant live wiht out it bands are: sublime, orgy, korn, cradle of filth, mettalica, murder dolls, mudvayne slipknot, blindside, the liveing end, 3 days grace,brand new. billy talent, sugar cult ,green day, blink 182 , lostprohets, thursdya, thrice, a perfect circle and like a zilolion others i drink n ocasianlyl sum other things"
Holy smokes. At first I thought I made a mistake and was given a blog for a retarded child, but sadly it was not the case. There is nothing even resembling the Queens English on this site, and it's not even in AOL speak, it's more like closed head injury speak. And what's with the wallpaper of "Finding Nemo"? Having an extremely busy background with text looks just awesome when mangled together with the site content so you don't even know what you are looking at, not that you could make any sense of it anyway. I was going to email her and recommend trying the spell check, but I think it would probably destroy her computer and California would drop into the ocean. Hey that's not a bad idea. What do you think "brokenbit_h"?
"ok so today me n kim went to the mall antd i lost my phone then found it thankfully!!! and then this lady wen was giving me money back gave me 5 extra dollars but i think if had enough baddemness in my life to not go give it back plus i didnt have tme.. anyways then my mom picked us up we went to best buy and then target then ate panda exspress and then got starbucks then we came home and just did whatever but lately ive been moody and really pissy coz ppl are pissy me of mainly my father and annoying sister and then todya 3 black dudes where are like so r u faithful as in am i faithfull to kc ..hell ya i am..and i was just informed one of them wants to fuck me thats disgustimng blahhhhhhhh so anyways i saw brittaney *wills ex ..one of the meny*at the mall today but she seemed like she was lke who the fuck are you get away but whatever anyways im off to re decorate my room sumwhat soooooooooooo"
Somebody take her Internet away!!!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.