The Adventures Of Mummy Bear!

The Adventures Of Mummy Bear!, submitted by FuriousGeorge. The following is aimed at kids:

Do you like Mummification? I sure do. I think it's cool. Especially the new Modern Mummification that my friends at Summum do.

I'm going to go on an journey to unlock the secrets of Modern Mummification. Would you like to be my friend and come with me? Yes? Then let's go exploring by clicking the links on the left. We'll go on an adventure, and together we'll learn new things and have some fun!!

As is this:

Mummy Bear Prayer

Now I lay me down to rest
I leave this life, I’ve done my best.

Please clean my body, head to toe
Wrap me up and make me whole.

Then as my spirit body roams
I’ll have a place to call my home.

My body that I lived in here
Will still be there, no need to fear.

Forever now I’ll feel so blessed
To have a place my soul can rest.

Amen.

Suddenly that cigarette smoking camel cartoon doesn't seem so bad. The Adventures Of Mummy Bear teaches kids all about a psuedo-religion called Summum (which has been tax exempt since 1986, as they point out several times) which involves "Modern Mummification". They never quite explain what's so modern about their mummification. I just know there's Blu-Ray in there somewhere. Fucking Blu-Ray.

To go along with the site's bizarre Mummy Bear mascot, they have a 28,000 year timeline of Mummy Bear's life and an awesomely bad comic.

It's nice to see Guile managed to find work after the Street Fighter gig dried up.

– Corin Tucker's Stalker (@DennisFarrell)