Real Life Satanic Witches, submitted by Al. Nothing quite says "horror" like a bunch of pasty-white gothic teenagers who proclaim themselves to be Satanic witches. Actually, I've seen more terrifying things fall out of my Frosted Flakes box.

This 'Gallery' is dedicated to showcasing the Females of Satanism. It exists as a monument to diversity and Satanism in its female form. All of the women here are Satanic, and all of them are distinct. Each one individual in her strengths and ideals, each one powerful and beautiful. A Tribute to Females and Satanists alike.

Ugh... dear God, scratch that last sentence. I'm scared. I'm really damn scared. Satan never seemed quite so horrifying before, especially when I wasn't aware his disciples were composed of 98% Crisco.

If I HAD to name my top interests it would be travelling, watching movies (MST3000 and SouthPark are some top favorites), spending time with my close friends, my Chris, and of course being on the internet. I love to go to clubs, either to dance or to listen to the bands. And of COURSE, vampires have been an interest of mine ever since I was reading age.

Yup, those are the classics signs of being a Satanic witch.

PS: There's a guestbook you can sign, but I think you have to be Satanic. If you're not, well, just fake it then. Claim you like South Park and "travelling". They'll never know.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2023 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful