Mike Sturgeon, King of the Lounge Lizards

I know at least 75% of you are going to think this video is a joke, or a parody, or something... ANYTHING to cushion your sanity from the harsh truth that this video exists. And that's okay. Any rational person would assume this video is fake. I mean, it HAS to be, right?

Sure. Maybe it is fake. Maybe Mike Sturgeon is the greatest performance artist/real life troll since Andy Kaufman.

But consider this: this man bought a tiki bar and a karaoke machine, constructed it in his basement, and spent one, if not more, days making this. In this video, he films himself pretending to talk to Monica Lewinsky (played by a Zebra), Vince Vaughn (played by a Zebra), and Ellen DeGeneres (played by, you guessed it, a Zebra).

Also, keep in mind, the dude isn't THAT bad of a singer. He is actually putting effort into it; heck, his Louis Armstrong impersonation isn't the worst I've heard. Besides that, due to the editing, you can tell he did multiple takes to get things "just right".

With those things in mind, ask yourself: "Is this fake?" and "even if it isn't fake, would I be more comfortable pretending it's fake for the rest of my life?" My guess is the answer to at least one of those questions is "yes.
Loyal AwfulVision readers, your mission, should you choose to accept it is to make this video the next big viral video sensation. Real or fake or somewhere in between, one thing is for certain: this video fucking RULES.

That about wraps things up for this week's AwfulVision. Big ups to all my homies keeping it real this week by sending in these videos. If you'd like to join the infamous ranks of people who have sent me stupid videos, click this link. We also apparently still have a Youtube channel for some reason, and if you really hate yourself, you can always join it.

See you jerks next time!

– Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey

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About This Column

As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!

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