haha i can't believe she actually did it. she actually put her titties on a plate and got them squished with another plate. ding ding order up haha, serve this plate full o' titty to someone who isn't a total fucking rube, oh my god haha
In order to find out whether you have the bad kind of tit, the nurse and I will go to opposite sides of the room and fling radiation at your bazoombas with these jai alai cesta. Then we will take a picture of them with a nuclear camera.
Excuse me, doctor? Doctor, yes, please listen to me, because it's very important and I'm in quite a rush. I'm a reporter, you see, a junior reporter with the Sun, and all the boys in the newsroom, see, they don't take me seriously as a reporter, no sir, not serious at all, and that's why I need you to give me e x t r e m e l y f l a t t i t s, yes indeed, got to have them, because it's a man's world, you see, it's a man's world and I'm just a woman, just a woman in a man's world and that's why I need to have e x t r e m e l y f l a t t i t s.
In order to kill witches, the people of Salem, Massachusetts invented the world's first-ever mammography device.
Fat Man, the atomic bomb dropped on Nagasaki, worked by using a conventional explosion to compress a small sphere of plutonium on all sides, which caused a chain reaction resulting in a massive nuclear detonation. The architect of the atomic bomb, John Robert Oppenheimer, inadvertently discovered it while using the same technique to put the whammy on a lady's rompers.
one prank I like to play is coating my breasts in superfluid helium. the doctor's face when my lubricious goombas slip out of the machine like a bar of soap is priceless!
*pretty lady with big honkers walks by*
guy 1: wowie zowie!
guy 2: zonga zonga!
guy 3: mammo grammo!
Ancient sculptors of the Renaissance perfected capturing human beauty my smashing some boobs between two metal plates. So pure and artful was this depiction of the human form that this technique was not surpassed until the atomic age, when scientists learned that not only could they smash some boobs between two plates, but they could blast them with radiation while doing it.
My plan is to adopt Muhammad Ali's rope-a-dope technique, allowing my doctor to exhaust himself by wailing on my knockers for hours, then landing the final blow myself.
*pulls my boob out after the timer goes off, perfect grill lines on each side*
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.