Dirty Texts!

Chandelier Stuntin

cant wait for 2nite got kicked out of the build a bear wrkshop 4 tryin to make a twink

Skylark

BEEP BEEP BEEP! Our ULTIMATE Sex Sound!! And now I am making it at MY apartment... Come over soon<3

Bedridden Cholo

today, im wearing a shirt at work but underneath, all im wearing is my boobs. how horny can you fucking get.

M-m-m-mummy Remix

mmm oh baby, the flaps of my vagina are so voluminous, there's probably enough skin here to make a whole other vagina out of and still have both look pretty normal. the heat comin off this sucker is intense, i feel like i could broil a whole thing of crescent rolls if they didn't cook best in a dry heat

Skylark

hi sweetie can you believe that i am thinking about you fucking me so much that i actually drew a picture of it in microsoft paint? and that soon you will be getting that picture on your phone? and that I will cover all the charges for that on our plan which doesn't cover pic msg, right? omg i want you to be here with m e and unbutton the flap on one side of my overalls, then the flap on the other side, and then flop both strap things over the back so the overalls slide down and you can see all of my boobs

+2 Sword of Chutney

I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME IN THE MOST BORING SEX POZ AND THRUST VERY SLOWLY

vagine 11

hey babe don't panic but i might have missed my pill lst wk. im going to call u w/ phone in my yoni (speed dial + kegels) pls. msg back if u hear baby sounds

Chandelier Stuntin

hey baby remember when u said we should try phone sex? well i went ahead without u. hurt like hell and i need 2 get a new phone now (sent from friends iphone)

M-m-m-mummy Remix

hey honey, i've been thinking about you all morning, and you're super shitty. everything about you is so horrible and retarded that it blows my mind. i want to puke. i'll still eat your pussy later but it's not going to be fun for either of us.

it's referred to as a "comedy goldmine" because whenever someone needs comedy, they may go to the comedy goldmine to extract it, in the same way that they would go to a regular goldmine to get gold. it's not a perfect metaphor but it works -- M-m-m-mummy Remix

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller