August 13, 2007

~*~ The Book Barn ~*~
Reppin': Mr. SM Holocaust
You may be interested to know that people other than social mutants regularly read books.
There are probably only like 4 of them out there, but they do exist.

It was recently brought to our attention by Helldump regular tonytheshoes that on multiple occasions TBBers talked about throwing or harming books that they didn't like. We here at Something Awful realize that book abuse is a stepping stone for pouring salt on slugs without malice and garroting kindergartners. So please, remember...

This public service announcement brought to you by The League for the Defamation of Anne Geddes

Sword of Truth Megathread - As forums member "harrower" put it so succintly:

Warriors? Check.
Wizards? Check.
Magic swords? Check.
Monsters? Check.
Rape? IN SPADES BABY.

Fantasy author and Ayn Randist Terry Goodkind is a controversial writer who was once heralded as "The new Tolkien" by the sort of magazines that make those sorts of pronouncements. Some say his Sword of Truth series belies an undercurrent of mysogyny where women are either brutalized as sexual objects or they are saved by their own virtue of being pure and virginal. On the other side of the argument, some people think the whore women in his book get off too easy, the fucking whores.

Camille Paglia asks, "Can't it be both?"

James Joyce: Is It Worth It? Where to Start? - Ostensibly, the forum's odd fascination with author James Joyce extends from the inability of his work to be summed up with a cat picture. Underneath, who knows? It could be that people just aren't linguistically able to handle his command of the language in the way that white chicks just can't handle big black dicks but goddamn it, they are going to try until something tears. The analogy breaks down when you realize the payoff from reading Joyce isn't a "modelling fee" and there's no way leaving copies of Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man laying around in your apartment is going to get back at your dad when your parents visit. "Let's regroup," said Xenephon. "Phalanx parlay at on the peloponnesus." Furtive ending. Further forth. Forward. The future.

Discontent of Edgar? MAYBE the people so fascinated with Joyce just haven't found the right thread to give them guidance to unlocking the mysteries behind his enigmatic works. Belly up to this wonderful resource and get your Joyce on or mark it for future reference.

The Booksellers' Thread: Yeah, Not Everyone Buys From Amazon! - For some reason, book sellers and independent music store employees are accorded a measure of respect that in primitive societies would have went to flamboyantly gay men, the violently insane and xenophobic, militaristic enclaves of monks charged with the duty of making the sun rise every day. On the outside, to hear a bookstore employee talk about the raving hordes of ignorance they fought against on a daily basis is to witness Gene Kelly stopping to spit back at the rain but goddamn, sometimes a body has to rant. Don't lecture me, I was besieged behind the counter of a B.Dalton in the Cherry Hill Mall when Howard Stern's book came out and I remember the first two Oprah Book Club recommendations. Back then, you saved the last bullet for yourself because you didn't want an enraged soccer mom charging you after you just winged it.

Whether it's mystic visions brought on by starvation wages or maybe picking up some of Plath's psychosis by osmosis, read up or contribute to the horror stories of working at bookstores that makes Tolkien's talkes of surviving Verdun sound like a Boy Scout Jamboree with a body count (exponentially larger than there usually is).

Recommend me a mystery - I am not going to tell you how this thread ends, but believe me you'll never see it coming.