October 22, 2007

~*~ Helldump 2000 ~*~
Reppin': muscles like this?
The Helldump is cage matches for nerds. If you've got something to get off your chest that isn't burger crumbs, this is the forum for you!

La-li-lu-le-lo: Something Awful's answer to Alex Jones. This guy (I refuse to type out his stupid name) is a forums nutball. He's a 9/11 truther and is obsessed with Europe. Not really any country in particular, just EUROPE! There's also this bizarre little gem: "Just a hunch, but between this movie (Children of Men) and Idiocracy I imagine that there has to be some sort of political squeeze behind the scenes for the companies to bury these movies. There's alot of people in Washington these movies absolutely tear apart, for whatever agendas they have."

Are you a pedophile? Do you need a white knight? Call Billy K.! Billy K. is a strange little German man who thinks that defending pedophilia is a-o-k! He has also decided that the term "PARTHENOPHILIA" means being attracted to teenage girls and is recognized by psychologists as a normal attraction. What do you know? Turns out that some Helldump goons are pretty knowledgeable about these things and have refuted every bit of his statement. Including the fact that he just made up the word in the first place.

MoGurt sucks shit MoGurt has decided that a gold thread in GBS filled with stupid made up stories of working in a porta-potty cleaning business means he can start dictating demands to the forums.

TeenyWeeny: bitches ain't shit compared to biology. TeenyWeeny has only been around for about a week but that ain't stopping him from constantly talking about how men should just cheat on women at every opportunity. Here's some of his classy advice:
You are a man and men cheat. I am divorced from my wife after I admitted cheating on her with close to 14 women over the course of a year. I left her for a 18 year old (I was 35). Just man up about it and don't get caught next time. Ignore her and I bet she comes back to you. Trust me.
Where the op went wrong is in getting drunk too. Fill a glass with water and it magically looks like vodka. The rule is get the girl drunk NOT get yourself drunk.
Men can bang other chicks and come home to a wife/girlfriend and truly mean that he loves her. Its genetics people. For men sex is sex. Why do you think there are more female prostitutes? We just want to get our rocks off.

~*~ Goons With Spoons ~*~
Reppin': Mr. Wiggles
If you've gotten as far as to read Internet articles about Internet forums (as you apparently have) but you're still not killing yourself by eating dishes of incredible unhealthiness devised by fellow Internet people, well I just don't know what to do with you.

Tell me about Hot Sauces! - All about hot sauces, from the vinegary types to the pure chemical weapons types to the types that aren't hot at all except in Nebraska.

When is it not worth the effort? - Every cook in the world cheats a little bit on some things, whether it's using canned beans instead of dried beans, preground spices instead of time in the mortar and pestle, etc. Come to this thread to see what your favourite internet cooks cheat on.

Lets talk shots - Anything other than baijiu just makes you a college kid, I think.

ICSA XXIII: Epulae Antiquitas - The newest Iron Chef Something Awful thread. Why don't you give it a try?

– Jon "@fart" Hendren (@fart)