Something Awful vs. Emerald City Recording

Dear Kyanka,

I am glad to see your representetive, Lenard "J" Crabs is on the case. Though I doubt his abilities as a lawyer, as any decent lawyer would inform you of the 'deep water' you are letting yourself in for. Remove all references to my site, and apologize NOW... this will be your last chance. I will not be so civil in further comunications. My lawyer WILL be informed of this.

James Doet (co-Webmaster of ECR)

Oh no! Could it be that... Leonard's attack didn't strike home? Ah well, I guess I have to bat cleanup here and deal with the wacko myself, as he never really explained what I need to do so I could keep myself from being sued. Here goes...!

> Though I doubt his abilities as a lawyer, as any decent lawyer would inform
> you of the 'deep water' you are letting yourself in for.

Mr. Crabs didn't inform me about any water hazards! This changes everything!

Okay, I give up. What will I have to do to get you to call off this lawsuit? I've been deathly afraid of water since the time I saw the movie about the witch who took showers.

Richard Kyanka (Webmaster of SA)

I was enraged that Leonard failed to tell me about the water hazards! He said I'd never have to deal with them ever again, but he lied!!! If he wasn't currently heavily armed, I would head over there right now and give that guy a stern talking-to. But I'll have to settle for the next best thing, which is a continuing correspondense with this duncecap.

Very funney, Kyanka. Is that what you do, try to be funney? If so I fear you should get a real job, rather than begging for hand-outs from your readers.

Anyway, you asked what you had to do to make me let you off the hook, here it is: Remove ALL contents related to my site, on your site. Secondley I want an apologie. The apologie should be no more than 40 words long, and be sincere, with not attempts at being funney, or sarcastic. You asked what to you had to do, and that is it.

James Doet

James Doet,

I am sorry I am not amusing to you, but I do not find my impending lawsuit to be funny whatsoever! Your email has sapped all the strength and humor from my body, leaving me an empty husk of a human being. These past 50 minutes have really taken a toll on me, and I don't know how much longer my body can hold out. Please tell me what I need to do and I'll do it as soon as possible, as I can't stand these constant legal threats. This is making my life a living hell! Please have mercy and tell me exactly what I need to do to keep this from going to court.

Yours forever,

Richard Kyanka

I know your type, Kyanka, always trying to be the comedian. Well, IT'S NOT F*CKING WORKING. Don't think you're fooling me with your sarcasm-laced replies, I know bullshit when I see it...

THIS is your FINAL F*CKING WARNING: REMOVE ALL contents related to my site or you will be very, VERY sorry. Any more crap like that and I'm calling my lawyer.. lets see how funney you are when you're infront of a judge. Oh, and don't forget the apologie.

James Doet (a VERY p1ssed-off webmaster)