Something Awful vs. the Dog Haired Private Investigator

Mr. T. J. MacNair decided to escalate affairs to the next level, and pulled out his internet big guns.

Uh oh! In my foolish rush to be a rushing fool, I had somehow forgotten to slap "WARNING: THIS SITE CONTAINS WORDS MOCKING DOGSWEATER CHEERLEADER WOMEN" graphics all over the site! How could I make such a terrible mistake? T.J. was all over me like white on anime. I had to choose the wording of my next email very carefully.

That's when I discovered this site of his: http://www.wpk9-eq.com/

This beautiful green masterpiece of HTML shares T.J.'s harrowing tale of persecution, paranoia, and deception, all in his noble pursuit of raising donkeys, llamas, and something called an "American Spotted Ass." His trials and tribulations include such horrendous events such as "several times someone has come and switched off the electric fence charger" and "several times someone has opened our gates, cut our fences, turned off the water spigot to our water troughs, stolen hay, stolen poultry, and many other things."

Oh my god. Making fun of dog hair cheerleader sweater women is one thing, but stealing hay? We've escalated things to a whole new level here, folks.

At this point, I thought if T.J. MacNair, Certified Private Investigator #67256 wanted to play tough with me, I'd play tough right back with him. This may sound like a segue to gay pornography, but trust me, it's really not.

It's this kind of cruel, cutthroat attitude that has made me number one in, uh, something, for the last, uh, some amount of years. Unfortunately, this did nothing but further enrage everybody's favorite Certified Private Investigator.