I think I used to have a porpoise

PIG RACING 101

First you need some fast pigs, then a racetrack. More to come as I attend more classes.

The Revelation of the Shed with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: can you tell me about your plans for building a shed
Moof: yes first i need lumber
Moof: do you understand so far
Livestock: yes
Moof: okay great then i will continue
Livestock: please do
Moof: i will arrange my lumber into the shape of a shed
Livestock: and then what
Moof: then my friend
Moof: then i will burn it
Moof: burn it to the ground
Livestock: but why
Livestock: why moof
Livestock: why
Moof: sometimes livestock
Moof: to understand the beauty of creation
Moof: you first must understand the beauty of destruction
Livestock: I see now moof, you are the greatest teacher I've ever known
Moof: go forth and procreate
Livestock: I will name my first child "moof" after the man who taught me everything I needed to know
Moof: but livestock
Livestock: what is it moof
Moof: you cannot have two children named moof
Moof: do you understand what i am saying livestock
Livestock: no I do not
Livestock: wait a minute
Moof: or should i say
Moof: dad
Livestock: OH MY GOD
Moof: it has been so long
Livestock: I'm afraid one hug will not be enough

Understanding Volcanology with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: Moof, if you were a volcano you would erupt ponies
Moof: and confetti :)
Livestock: no, just ponies
Livestock: confetti makes a mess
Moof: CONFETTI TOO >:o
Livestock: okay okay but someone has to clean that up
Moof: the ponies can >:-O
Livestock: but how? these ponies will be dead from the eruption.
Moof: WELL THEY WILL JUST HAVE TO FIX THEMSELVES NOW WONT THEY
Livestock: you're a pretty angry volcano
Moof: not really i can be quite lava-ly (lovely) LOL

UPDATE:

Moof: you should remove the LOL from the end of that quote
Moof: it is gay
Livestock: okay I will
Livestock: Moof, I am adding a second LOL
Moof: NO
Livestock: okay I'm putting in six more LOLs
Moof: OH GOD
Livestock: MOOF THE SCREEN IS LITERALLY COVERED WITH LOLS THERE IS NOTHING LEFT OF YOUR ORIGINAL WORDS.
Moof: NO
Moof: NO LOLS
Moof: NO LOLLLSLS

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)