| If you could travel in time who would you meet? | |
 John McCainRepublican Nominee | "President John McCain in 2015 on the day they lift the drape off of the statue of him in Iraq because we won Iraq and freedom. There is freedom everywhere. And a formation of futuristic jets." |
 Barack ObamaDemocratic Front-runner | "Ooh, a time machine? I have a list of editorial suggestions for a certain religious figure." |
 Hillary ClintonDemocratic Candidate | "I'd want to travel back and meet Vince Foster and tell him to man up and Bud Dwyer that shit so he doesn't ruin it when I try to Google my own name." |
 Mike GravelImplacable Kook | "I've got to warn Doc about the Libyans!" |
| What is your least favorite animal? | |
| John McCain Republican Nominee | "Voles. Get a life, creeps! Even moles look down on you!" |
| Barack Obama Democratic Front-runner | "White women 65 years and older. I think about seven of them have voted for me and they're all super delegates." |
| Hillary Clinton Democratic Candidate | "I don't know what an Obamican is but I want to see a machine gun raked pile of them being shoveled into a mass grave." |
| Mike Gravel Implacable Kook | "That goddamn baboon. GET. OFF. THE. FUCKING. HUMMING. BIRD. FUCKING. FEEDERS!" |
| Would you turn to cannibalism for survival? | |
| John McCain Republican Nominee | "Would and did. Tastes just like chickens. Think about that: WE are the chickens." |
| Barack Obama Democratic Front-runner | "Cannibalism? I am sustained by glowing editorials in Newsweek. RICHARD WOLFFE...IS...MAKING ME STRRRRONNGGGEER AAAARRRRRRR!! HOWARD...FINEMAN...LEVEL UP!!!!!" |
| Hillary Clinton Democratic Candidate | "Where do you think all this experience comes from?" |
| Mike Gravel Implacable Kook | "I eat rope. By the transitive property I could eat a guy named Rope." |
All too often it is the smallest things that turn an election. Perhaps these forgotten details, lost amid the media hype, will provide you with an informed perspective when you go to the voting booths in, what is it? October? Something like that.
–
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