Unfortunately for jaded nerds who insist virtual reality is a joke and Valve's games are overrated, Half-Life: Alyx is fantastic. It simply wouldn't be possible without VR's sense of presence or the ability to interact with everything using your actual stupid hands. Here's how to beat the game.

Chapter One: Sigma Station

The scowling Combine guard commands you to pick up a piece of trash and throw it in the garbage can. Do as he says. Now he commands you to pick up another piece of trash and throw it in the garbage can from the three point line. Do this as well.

This will continue until you have cleared all the trash from this opening around, which should take roughly three hours.

Chapter Two: Transmission

To get past the next section you must shake Barney's hand. Sounds easy enough, right? Not exactly. The thing is, Barney keeps pulling his hand away at the last moment and running it through his hair like a cool guy.

The key to this is agility and grip strength.

Chapter Three: No Past Like The Current

Yes, this is the entire canal section from Half-Life 2! There's just one major difference this time around: Your boat doesn't have a motor. That's right, you'll be paddling through the entire sequence with your bare hands.

This level is a masterclass in testing the player's endurance. Just keep paddling at a steady pace, taking breaks every ten minutes or whenever your heart (your actual heart) starts beating too hard.

Chapter Four: Fluid Dynamics

Shoot the water into the clown's mouth until its balloon nose pops. Pretty straightforward.

Chapter Five: Priority Shift

This is the most intense encounter in the entire game. Get ready for a serious challenge!

Wave at the first Combine soldier. When the second soldier bursts through the ceiling, immediately high five them. Hide behind the nearby grocery shelf until the next soldier passes. While his back is turned to you make an exaggerated masturbation motion, instantly destroying him.

Now QUICKLY sprint to the ball pit and find the hidden Red Keycard before the sentry completes his circuit.

In the courtyard, immediately raise your hand to catch the frisbee, then throw it back before it explodes.

Run past the crowd of cheering Combine soldiers, reaching out to grab then drink every cup of water offered to you and sign every autograph.

Chapter Six: Signal Strength

The key to this fight is avoiding or blocking Glass Joe's swings, then counterattacking. Hit his chin as it blinks for maximum damage!

Chapter Seven: Anomalous Processing

Approach the chalkboard. Pick up the chalk. Solve the calculus equations. You MUST answer each one correctly and show your work to progress.

In the next room, observe the cartoon turtle on the matchbook. Now draw the cartoon turtle as best you can. If your drawing is good enough, you will be accepted into the art school and proceed to the next level.

Chapter Eight: Pressure

A simple elevator ride. Or is it?

When you hear the distinct sound, start waving your hands quickly. The goal is to fan away the smell of your nasty fart before the doors open and Dr. Moss steps into the elevator.

Chapter Nine: Return to Black Mesa

Get on the train. Grab the engineer hat and put it on your head. Now lean your head out the window to make the train go. If you want to speed up the train do the "HONK HONK" motion with your hand.

Chapter Ten: Reckoning

The final confrontation!

When the Mega Headcrab throws Paper, you'll want your hand to be in the Scissors position. When it goes with Rock, you go Paper. And in the third round, when the Mega Headcrab transforms into its larger form with angel wings and throws Scissors, you need to choose Rock.

Congratulations. Now sit back and enjoy the final cutscene, presented on a two dimensional plane.

– Dennis Farrell (@DennisFarrell)

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