1:1For lo, a black night did descend upon the world, as the ICQ pranks on Something Awful did trickle to a halt.1:2The villagers did sendeth emails aplenty to Lowtax, but Lowtax did disregard them for he was too busyeth Photoshopping Cliffy B.'s head onto various woodland creatures' bodies.1:3But then the mighty Greenmarine did sendeth Lowtax a victim who was a subject perfect to be pranked, a Christian Fundamentalist who did spammeth people on ICQ and promote his church of ill-gotten gains and intolerance.1:4Lowtax did pranketh the rabid Fundamentalist, and the fruits of his loins are as follows:
1:5And lo, it was good, unlike the personal hygiene and social skills of Lowtax.
Hooray! To top off the wonderful fact that I finally got off my lazy ass and pranked somebody, we've also got a brand new ROM Pit Review of Barbie Supermodel. Ugh.
Once that is completed you have to leave to a new exotic location, I think mainly because Barbie is trying to escape loan sharks. Once you've pissed off the local organized crime boss, the terrible cycle of vengeance begins anew and you find yourself fleeing from one side of the screen to the other again, pimping your good looks for a brand new plane ticket to freedom! On your journeys from one side of the screen to the other you may encounter bags or cameras which force you to test your memory skills and recreate the latest Barbie magazine cover by either painting up Barbie's face to look like a reject from the Degrassi Junior High series or choosing the outfit which makes Barbie look less like a desperate crackwhore down to her last rock.
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This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- Evil Avatar Simulation Device
- Marriage in MMORPG's, Raising Dead
- A Practical Guide to Building a Complete Game AI
- Haunted Apartment?
- The Florida Presidential Voting Controversy
