[Ominous motor sounds blend with bass guitar]
No parking sign I could not see,
blocked by a tree, hiding from me,
on that day could it even be.
Spiraling beyond the yellow line,
unfolding into and above the loading zone.
Limits of being are observed. Body and mind are one.
Look at these images of my camera's eye.
Parking there permission granted,
where a sign does not indicate it was not granted here.
No parking sign it could not be,
away from me, I cannot see,
justifying this unlawful fee.
No red or yellow or spiraling line,
degenerating ignorance to this violation.
Limits of my being were observed. Body and mind were one.
Your honor indulge my camera's eye.
Accede to the lawfulness of car location,
where a sign does not indicate invalid location here.
Diagrams of geometry urging you to confirm, to see.
Reaching my divine vessel not across this line.
Placing my faith in this visible vessel's zone.
I refuse to pay to
support a corrupt body, to monetize contemptuous sinews
and confirm the system feeds on us
to feel consumed, by traffic eyes,
within eyes, watching nothing until,
a scene unfolds with urgency,
a pizza growing cold or a child emerges,
into the false divinity of the state.
With my wheels within the lines
between the signs of affirmation on this block.
I am not a number for your ledgers,
my inner eye is opening to your quotas.
If you do not find in my favor,
if you do not release me from this burden,
if you do not embrace the turning wheel in the sky,
we'll ride the wave of injustice to the local news.
I even left my blinkers on...oN... ON... ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
This... was not... a violation.
This... was not... a violation.
This was not your god!!!!
–
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- The Kill List MFA Program
- SkyMall Product Reviews: Cowch Holstein Cow Bench
- What to Say to Stay Inside
- Your Chili Cheese Chicken is Pretty Fucking Far From Money
- Millennials Have No Idea How Good They Have It
