No flooring? No wall covering? No problem! You got an unfinished basement? My friend, you've got an opportunity, and we've got just what you need! We can help you turn any room from your wildest imagination into a disappointing reality.

Home Gym

Who needs an expensive gym membership when you can get all the working out you need right in the part of your home you don't like to go down to at night. Time to pump it up and battle the bulge while you're battling those black spiders that just keep coming out of the window sills. Set up a gym in your unfinished basement with this collection of irregular and mismatched exercise equipment.


  • Rusty bar.
  • Too many of one size of curling weights.
  • An exercise bike from 1975.
  • Dirty towels in a pile.
  • Another exercise bike, but be careful on the pedal it comes off sometimes.
  • An old tube TV, but we can't find the remote.
  • Extension cords from the Christmas tree.
  • Plus FREE motivational cricket! It's like live music with no cover charge!

You can't beat our unbelievable low price of $199.95! Act now and we will throw in a full-length mirror without a frame that is cracked at the top and leaning against the wall!

Sweet Bachelor Pad

Do you like speakers? How about entertainment? How about mysterious padding falling from the exposed ceiling? If you answered yes to this and possibly other questions we did not ask, then we can help you outfit your adult child with the ultimate bachelor pad in your unfinished basement. He'll definitely recover from dropping out of business school once he's locked away like a Morlock playing Call of Duty all night long.


  • Computer and media center that has to use extension cords so it is on two different circuits to prevent blackouts.
  • A bare, queen-sized mattress on the floor.
  • An old comforter that smells like sweat and has not been washed in over a year.
  • A poster of a woman in a bikini covering a large spot of mold on the wall.
  • Hot water pipes just the right size for coat hangers.
  • Great speakers that shipped with a Gateway gaming computer in 1998.
  • A musical keyboard from the hottest manufacturer in Cambodia.
  • Optional Christmas lights for decoration.

Wow! All that for just $309. You're not asleep and dreaming on that mattress yet! This is real!

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