Classic Movies Recast

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Human beings naturally hate looking at old movies. If it was made more than ten years ago, it is too unpleasant to look at. Maybe it lacks definition, familiar faces and comforts, or good special effects. Either way, sooner or later, every movie has to be remade. This week the Something Awful Forum Goons update some classic movies, giving them the modern talent they need to thrive in this complicated world science and super sorcery. Behold the horror!

bunky has a Blart of Gold.

kingstefan has started buying grapes in preparation for this California Raisins reunion everyone's talking about.

Judge legislates from the heart.

A hellbastard is the worst kind of bastard there is.