Someone Call Jason Statham's Agent RIGHT NOW

Imagine for a moment, you walk into a fancy restaurant with a film reel marked "YouTube video." You see me sitting at the finest table, growing accustomed to my cartoon top hat and white mustache. (I look like Mr. Moneybags, from Monopoly.)

You wander up to my table and sit down, uninvited, saying, "Mr. Slowbeef. I have a question about-" and I hold up a finger, because I've just put some caviar on a toast point in my mouth and I am enjoying it, gentleman of class and refinement that I am. My eyes are glazed over and then I exhale, like I just blew a load in some broad's eyes.

Then I regard you and you continue, "I'm gonna post a video on YouTube. I wanna know if Webcam Ward is gonna make fun of it. It's got some indecipherable accents, but you made fun of that a couple videos ago, so I was thinking maybe, just maybe, this is good enough to avoid your wrath."

I look to you and say the following: "I am going to ask you a question. Does your video contain the following two words?" Then a dramatic pause as I say, "Action choreography."

You look down sullenly, and I pat your shoulder. "Better luck next time."

ikyTV: HUSTLE (Another short gangster film)

Really, the manliest way to start a fight. Added: June 5, 2009 Description: Another short film from IKYTV shot in the suburbs of Longsight. A story about what can happen if you live a streetlife and hang out with the wrong people. Its abit over exagerated but then again its a short film, and youtube.. so enjoy.................. This is the beginning!!! Directed by Mohammad Haqani Location: Longsight Music: ikyTV productions & Jesper Kydd Starring: Itcham, Abdullah, Bilal, Rizwan, Usman and Ibrahim User: IkyTV Views: 3,764 Best Viewer Comment: Thanx for the comment, Yes, everything is rehearsed and scripted.

That does it for this week at the Webcam Ward and if you run into a downright horrible video on the world wide web, let us know!

– Michael "slowbeef" Sawyer and Dia "Diabetus" Betus