Modeling for Electros Brand Electronics: Shoot 2
Batesville, Arkansas needs an Electros Brand Electronics advertisement and everyone else is busy. All we need is someone to smile at the camera and look republican.
Rate My Instructor: Archaeology (Part 3)
The difference between a decent education and an unfair F rests entirely in the hands of the instructor, so it’s never a bad idea to check if they’re just a waste of your time and money. Especially if you’re majoring in archaeology.
Gorilla Mask Holiday Sale
Is there better time to purchase face of ape than directly following American Thanksgiving? No. It is the time to buy now.
Modeling for Electros Brand Electronics: Shoot 1
These machines cost more than you’ll spend in a lifetime on ointments and beauty creams trying to recapture that wasted youth of yours, so why don’t you stop posing like you’re holding your dead child’s coffin and start modeling like a professional?
How Your Brain Works
Your brain is very complex. Learn how and why you make such poor decisions whenever attractive people are around!
Prompts for Midterm Essay
Since you are not smart enough to come up with anything original, I have decided what you will write.
The Creature's Cancer Blog from the Black Lagoon
The journey of The Creature from the Black Lagoon and The Creature’s Cancer.
Timeline of the Sun Chip Bag
The new Sun Chip bag is loud. Really loud. Everyone knows that, but few seem to realize the historic origin of the bag and the role it plays in the future.
How To Write a Cover Letter
Long before a company can see your ill-fitting suit or listen to you stumble through an interview, they look at your cover letter and by reading just a few sentences, they know that they don’t want you. Not anymore. Five simply cover letter steps guaranteed to get you hired.
E.T. 28 Years Later
The last place I expected to find E.T. was in an empty alley, but there he was, hunched over a dumpster snorting a line of Reese’s Pieces off a discarded Styrofoam plate.
Your 2010 Low-Note Champion
The numbers all add up. Sir Geoff has caused three miscarriages, is suspected of killing four servants, and has lost five fingers, and, now, he has won his sixth Competitive Low-Note Championships.
Competitive Low-Note Singing 2010 Finals
The Finals for the Competitive Low-Note Singing Tournament are here. This year the championship will be chosen entirely by fan votes, so select your favorite, fill out your ballet, and vote. Please only one per person. Not valid in Moldova.
Two weeks with a Canker Sore: A Journal
After a run-in with a vicious slice of rye bread, my lower lip and sanity quickly deteriorate as a canker sore develops. Chance of survival: Low. Chance of whiny complaints: High.
Gangland Kids: The Reno Rollers
The littlest big wheel posse in the biggest little city. The Reno Rollers were notorious throughout the 1980s for their looting gas station candy racks and drive-bys.
Gangland Kids: Playground Posse
The Playground Posse was the most ruthless gang to rule recess, but their story has been ignored until now. Power, money, and ice cream sandwiches. These kids had it all.
Travesties of Life: Troll Hole
If the Clean Swipe is the epiphany of miracle, then Troll Hole is the constant remembrance of wrong doing. You carry the weight of your mistake like the kidnappers of the Lindbergh baby. Every step you take causes your cheeks to rub together like two Brillo pads after cleaning out an extraordinarily crusted casserole dish.
Miracles of Life: The Clean Swipe
You've just dropped what Pauly Shore would call a "Gnarly Dook," but when you wipe, the toilet paper is spotless. This is how gods are made, my friend. And this is a a miracle of life.
Hoarding Judge Sheet
With the sudden influx of television shows focusing on hoarding, it can be difficult for the average viewer to separate the difference between the legit crazies and the wannabe trash collectors. To help alleviate the confusion, a standardized test has been created to clearly show who truly deserves our mocking attention.
How to be a Writer: Step 1
I’ve been around a lot of writers, and based on what I’ve seen, this is what it takes to join their elite social status. Follow these steps, become a writer.
Choose Your Own Adventure: Quest for Mtn Dew
You have one hour to find enough Mountain Dew to charge you through an intense videogame session. Are you a bad enough dude to do whatever it takes to get energized?
The Many Apologies to Rock Man
The only thing harder than Rock Man’s craggy exterior is his day to day life.
Rare Bazooka Joe Comics
In 1963, thirteen special edition Bazooka Joe comics were printed. Aimed at a more mature audience, the titillating comics caught the attention of angry parents but did little to increase the sale of stale gum.
55 Ways to Save Eggs
In the 1930's, egg saving was one of the four college degrees women were able to obtain. Now with the average egg costing around 12 cents, it is important for people to start saving eggs whenever possible. Here are 55 helpful tips to help you start savings pennies.
