December Birthdays are the Worst
Although their parents boned in March, those born in December have been screwed their whole life.
I want my hotel bed to glow.
I want my bed to look like the health department is checking for bedbugs. I want to feel like it’s on an episode of Maury getting scanned for semen.
How to Write a Personal Statement
Six simple tips on awkwardly writing about yourself!
Alternatives to Letting Your Kid Play Football
Don't let him start playing soccer before reading this!
Please don’t talk about Breaking Bad until I catch up!
I’m just trying to enjoy a scheduled show at my own glacial pace.
You need a Rasta Banana
The Rasta Banana represents your best traits: your love of Jamaica, of reggae, of potassium.
Important Message from the Alumni Association
Greetings Recent Graduate! Now that you've finished college, it’s time to give back!
What we talk about when we talk about Naked and Afraid
Survivalist Fetish? The Creepiest First Date? Naked and Afraid is a complex show.
Freelancing: A Choose Your Own Adventure
In Freelancing Hell, you are Steve Jobs and the children at Foxconn at the same exact time. Are you a bad enough dude to save yourself?
Overcoming your Summer Sickness
Save reading WebMD and overreacting for the winter. Let's have some fun.
Bad Tips and the Server
It’s a careful dance between the customer’s moral reasoning and the server’s need to pay rent.
Keep Your State Pride Off Your Clothes
Apparently being a worthwhile state takes more than an Etsy t-shirt and an alchemist’s concoction of microbrewers/food trucks/cupcake bakeries.
Stop Killing Bees, Moron
Are you telling me that every time a bee comes within thirty feet, you have to throw a fit?
You Say Underemployed Like It's a Bad Thing
You’re the renaissance man of low skilled labor. Monopolize entry jobs; control every aspect of the lowest rung. Stack your 1099s to the sky. Contractor till you die.
Grad School or Meth?
Two popular paths for the recent college graduate, but which one is right for you?
Your Winter Beard Must Go!
It looks like you sifted through your couch cushions, picked out the nickels and dimes, and glued the rest to your face. I should have told you in December. I’m sorry.
Pope's Gamer Status FAQ
Everything you need to know about the Pope’s retirement from the Holy Gaming Sect
The Best Jeopardy Stories
In the presence of Alex Trebek, everyone wants to look interesting. Few succeed.
Why our Downton Abbey/Football Party Failed
FYI I’ve done the research and there is no Victorian gesture of putting your testicles on someone’s neck while they try to watch elderly women drink tea. It’s just gross.
