Hobo News

Hobo News, submitted by Ryan Speck. Everyone loves hobos. They're full of stories, songs, wisdom, and communicable diseases. But did you know that the hobos have their own website? Of course you didn't. In fact, the possibility never even crossed your mind. That's because you're sane. You don't see what need a hobo would possibly have for a website, since, with the exception of Josh "Livestock" Boruff, they're not known for having computer access. But apparently they're far more organized than we give them credit for. The hobos not only have their own fully comprehensive website, but I'll have beans in my bindle if it's not the best darn website a hobo could hope for! It's got everything that an aspiring hobo or a hobo looking to be a better hobo could ever want to know, including what to wear.

Head gear

Ball Caps permeate through out the entire Hobo Culture; some may be
from certain Football, Basketball, or Baseball Teams that a Hobo is a
fan of. Other caps can be of Industry, or Industrial Companies that
the Hobo is seasonally employed by. Other caps may be showing Cities,
or States the Hobo spends their winters in, and still other caps have
no denotation at all. These can be Military Caps, Welders Caps,
“Boonie Hats”, Corn stripes, or Toboggans, still, like the Native
American, the Hobos hat tells something about him/her.

Or how about some hobo poetry?

Do not think about tomorrow,
Let tomorrow come and go.
Tonight you've got a nice warm boxcar
Safe from all the rain and snow.
So go to sleep, you weary hobo,
Let the towns drift slowly by.
Can't you hear the steel rail hummin' ?
That's the hobo's lullaby.
Oh, I know your clothes are ragged
And your hair is turning grey.
Lift your head and smile at trouble,
You'll find peace of mind someday.
So go to sleep, you little hobo,
Let the towns drift slowly by.
Tonight you've got a nice warm boxcar,
That's the hobo's lullaby.
I know the police cause you trouble,
They cause trouble everywhere.
But when you die and go to Heaven,
There will be no police there.

My God, it's beautiful. Whether you want to know where the next hobo gathering will be, how to live your life by the hobo code of conduct, or just where you can find a good hobo movie, this is the site for you. Catch a train to this site and "jungle" a while (that's Hobo for "stick around, get drunk, and stab some people")!

– Ben "Greasnin" Platt