YAOI LOVERS, submitted by z. Yaoi, to those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, is the description of Japanese cartoon homosexual man-porn which involves highly feminine boys kissing and blowing rose pedals at other feminine boy / animal creatures who usually have noses sharp enough to cut apart cinder blocks. Apparently a lot of homosexual boys and teenage girls find yaoi to be highly appealing because the characters are non-threatening and highly girly just like them. Unfortunately, instead of being like us men who just see porn, jack off to it, and then go to sleep, these folks spend hours and hours writing yaoi fan fiction about every comic book and video game character in the known universe, putting them in highly emotional and erotic situations with other characters who were previously un-gay. These stories always involve one character having their heart broken, talking with another character about true love for roughly 600 pages, and then eventually getting back into a relationship with their ex. It's all very romantic and wonderful and I gotta tell you that I absolutely just adore all this shit from Japan that the more idiotic of us Americans are importing to obsess about.

“Master…” he muttered softly and felt his blood warm. He had forgotten that Vegeta had forbidden him to call him that. It was a good thing that he was still asleep or he would be in a lot of trouble. “My prince…”

He let his fingers run idly along the edge of the sheets then lifted them over his head and slowly climbed on to the bed. The heady scent of his master quickly surrounded him and almost toppled him. It was warm and fragrantly comforting. Goku was charged with an instant impulse to purr, but he restrained himself. He did not want to waken Vegeta. Not yet. His tail had no reservations about curling and lashing against the sheets. Its frenzied behavior was a result of Vegeta's scent and Goku had absolutely no way of controlling it.

Despite the actions of his tail, he moved very carefully, crawling forward on his hands and knees on either side of Vegeta's naked body. When he reached his target, he hovered over the warmth that was his master and studied his sizeable flesh.

The master is…large , he mused. Of course, he had known this, having seen the master in his bath, but somehow, up close, the member was even more amazing.

He ran his fingers down the long shaft and watched in surprise as it grew larger. Goku let out a small breath, stirring the dark hair that surrounded the rigid appendage. More of the prince's scent swirled around him. He thought that he would collapse from the heady aroma. None of his other masters had smelled this good. Oh, they had tried to hide their natural scents with perfumed oils and fruit based creams, but their underlying odors had always managed to sicken Goku.

Hooray! Nothing is quite as hot as Goku / Vegeta DBZ erotic homosexual fan fiction! For Christ's sake, they could at least throw in some shit about dickgirls fighting off tentacled beasts for control over an interdimensional space station built by the devil or some shit. These peoples' obsession with non-threatening feminine homosexual animal-men creatures will do nothing but prepare them for a life full of disappointment once they realize most of the animals in the world would like to kill them, as well as most of the men.

PS: They have a guestbook you can sign but only if you're a big fan of Goku sucking Vegeta's dick, and honestly who isn't in these troubled times?

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

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