DENTURE PROBLEMS GOTCHA?, submitted by jenislav.Hark, the reign of terror over our mouths is coming to an end! The people are rising up in a storm of rebellion to put the evil teeth masters under their knives. The streets will run red with the blood of the false prophets of dental care. For so long we have been under their yoke, forced to accept the substandard dentures haphazardly made by these cruel enamel lords. Disgraceful, broken, chattering, mashing awkwardly into corn cobs until they explode into flames, our dentures are destroying our lives, and the government refuses to help. It's up to us to educate the public so they can join us in this revolution of dental care and burn down the houses of the dentists who have ridden us like mealy mouthed ponies for so many years. This wonderful site "DENTURE PROBLEMS GOTCHA?" will teach you all you need to know about the horrors of this dentist conspiracy to disintegrate our will with sub-standard dentures. Let's take a look.
"EMOTIONAL DENTURE STRESS IS THE RESULT OF PERSONAL PROBLEMS
RELATING TO ONE OR MORE OF SIX SPECIFIC AREAS.
HEALTH, EMPLOYEMENT, MARRIAGE, SEX, MONEY, SELF-ESTEEM
IF YOU FIND YOUR ARE EMOTIONALLY CAUGHT UP IN ONE OF THE ABOVE AREAS, EITHER ON A PERSONAL BASIS OR BECAUSE A CLOSE FAMILY MEMBER IS HAVING DIFFICULTY, YOU CAN BE AFFECTED BY "EMOTIONAL DENTURE STRESS".
DENTISTS PAY "BIG" BUCKS TO THE ADA ( American Dental Association ) TO INSURE THEIR MONOPOLY TO "SELL DENTURES"! LESS THAN 1% OF PRACTICING DENTISTS ARE CAPABLE OF ACTUALLY CREATING DENTURES WITH THEIR OWN HANDS! GRADUATING DENTAL STUDENTS CANNOT QUALIFY TO WORK IN A CLINICAL DENTAL LABORATORY. DENTISTS ARE UNDER-TRAINED, UNDEREDUCATED AND UNDERQUAILIFIED IN THE TECHNOLOGY AND ART OF CREATING A DENTAL APPLIANCE!"
Those motherfuckers! I swear to god the next time I go to my dentist for a regular cleaning I'm going to bite his finger off and jump into Mt. Doom. To do my part in this fight for the denture wearers of America, I have started up my own denture making shop in my garage. I know it is a felony to do this, but somebody has to make a stand against the system, just like Dr. Kevorkian. If anybody needs some cheap homemade dentures that are guaranteed not made by some lackey dentist, drop me an email and I'll start hunting around for some good stones and a rubber band. Don't forget to sign their guest book and show your support for the brotherhood of denturists.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.