How to spot a meth cooker

Hmm... so you say the warning signs are reclusiveness, a horrible odor, and a penchant for dressing like an extra from a 70's cop show? If any of your tenants meet these criteria, you are either renting to a meth cooker, a member of the Something Awful forums (particularly telling is the cat urine odor part) or, based on the actor in the video, one of the Beastie Boys from their Sabotage video.

Regardless, you should call the police immediately because the meth cooker is cooking dangerous drugs that might explode at a moment's notice, the goon may try to take pictures of your house and will destroy property values by leaving his Baconator wrappers all over the lawn, and the last Beastie Boys album was so terrible it may as well have been a crime.

Critics Corner™

"I might think of trying meth if I was guaranteed to hear that background music in my head."

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