Stevia is a helluva a drug

Submitted by SamuraiFoochs

SamuraiFoochs is awesome for submitting this hilarious video of some 'roided-out meat head rambling on and on and on and on about "Stevia" (some "I love cocaine but hate constantly getting arrested and having my children taken away by Child Protection Services" faux-drug that people, like, toooootally swear gets you high as shit, duuuuude). SamuraiFoochs also sucks because, when sending the video, he included a joke that is 10 times funnier than anything I have ever written. Namely, this little gem:

"It's sorta like if the singer from 3 Doors Down became a meth-head and decided he wanted to become an Ultimate Fighter, but whatever it is, it's fucking confusing and I was pretty much expecting him to have an aneurysm in there somewhere."

Goddamn it, SamuraiFoochs. You've instigated a YouTube arms race that will surely result in the death of us all. But y'know what? You wanna go? We'll go motherfucker. YEAH. FUCK YEAH. LET'S DO THIS.

  • This guy is one Godsmack song short of a Navy recruitment video.
  • This guy is one Bill Hicks comedy routine away from being the next Dennis Leary.
  • This guy is one Slipknot song away from being a backyard wrestling highlight reel.
  • This guy is one monster truck rally ticket and a case of Natty Light away from a domestic battery charge.

The ball is in your court, SamuraiFoochs. Checkmate.

That about does it for this week of AwfulVision! Thanks to everyone who submitted a terrible video this week, including myself since I actually got off my fat, lazy, pasty ass and found a video myself for once. Hooray!

If you'd like to join this rogue's gallery of ne'er-do-wells, then you are in luck! All you need is a terrible video and the ability to click this link right here. Do it, or else I won't be able to fund my raging Stevia habit.

See you jerks next time!

– Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey

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About This Column

As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!

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