Awful Vision: "Teh" Russian Muscle!

Some Russian bullshit that doesn't display properly

Please make buying of record or they will kill our family. We are not joke. Please sending help.Anyone with a sense of humor knows that there are three sure-fire ways to get a laugh: hurt yourself, be fat and try to do normal everyday things like ride a bike or play DDR, or sing badly in a non-English language. This video touches on all three: 4 Russian teens sing really bad pop music in whatever crazy moon language they speak over there, the person getting hurt is me for having watched this piece of shit, and out of the 5 billion people on planet Earth, it stands to reason that there has to be at least one fat kid who wishes this was a DDR track.

On a personal note, the best part about this video for me is that the only possible people who could take offense its inclusion here on AwfulVision™ are fellow Russians who eat this kind of shit up and, as luck would have it, don't speak a word of English. Basically, what I'm saying is that I don't even have to attempt to be witty about hating this video. Haha, sucks to be them.

For those not in the know, this is a Russian pop group who's name translates to: "Band of Boys With Face of Horse Who Make Pop Star Music" with their hit song "We will use benefits of record money to buy loaf of bread". Why this isn't blazing up the charts here in the good ol' US of A is beyond me.

Like most boy bands, everyone in this band has an "image". Whereas most American boy bands tend to feature "the shy one", "the bad boy", "the one with the viable solo career" etc., our Russian counterparts are Ivan (the Czech one), Boris (the capitalist one), Nikolai (the one who's family spent their monthly soup ration on an earring for him) and Vladimir (the one who's sister was killed by Russian crime lords for stealing a potato).

The concept for the video is simple enough, thankfully. Much as you'd expect from a nation who's economy is based on mud and twigs, the video features the boys standing in front of a Windows 95 screen saver, gaping at the camera, putting their arms around each other, and lip syncing their little hearts out. Also, at one point, a This special effect alone cost more than the entire GDP of the Ukraine.bell flies across the screen.

When I was a young child, I used to wonder why, whenever they featured music on Star Trek, it was always some classical shit from the 1700's instead of whatever kind of futuristic beep boop music they no doubt have in the 24^th century. Eventually I got older and I came to realize that it was simply the writers accounting for not knowing what music of the future would be like.

However, after seeing this video, I'm more inclined to think that at some point music evolves to the point where schlock like this is considered the norm and that World War 3 will probably be fought over whether this group is merely the greatest band in the history of mankind or the greatest band in the history of the universe and when the dust finally settles, we seal away all music made prior to 1800 along with what's left of our nuclear arsenal. That I will not live to see that day is definitive and conclusive proof there is no God.

Critics Corner™

"heheheheh dobre tez to zdjecie co ktos wczesniej dal linka!!:D:D:D:D"
-kitty341

That at you ministers such Beautiful young boys???
-boyakko

"do all russians have huge ears?"
-lerka1337