muscle
I'd like to point out one of the quandaries everyone seems to forget when they post things on the internet. It goes something like this: if you post something that is intended to be funny to Group A, then Group B (which is everyone not in Group A) will not find it funny. Following this logic, if something is posted that is embarrassing, but will be taken as ironic or as an obvious joke by Group A, and Group B isn't in on the joke, then all that's left is the embarrassment.
Daddy? It's Jessica. They kidnapped me, Daddy. If you don't pay them off or rescue me, I will die. Daddy? Daddy?Let me explain using an example. Let's say there's a video, and in this video a man in his mid 40's is naked from the waist up. Let us also assume that the man in question is in good physical shape. Now, let us introduce a few variables: the man in question is obsessed with his body, apparently has huge nipples, and has a voice similar to how I always imagined Mike Haggar from Final Fight sounding. Even if this video was intended to be humorous and ironic, even if it all is a joke, even if Mayor Haggar isn't too obsessed with his nipples and body to take out Mad Gear and save his daughter... does that make the existence of this video any less damning?
Several people have pointed out that this video is fake, or that the guy in it is just doing it as a joke. I ask you: if his priest or his boss or someone else that probably wouldn't be aware of his wacky, nipple-centric sense of humor were to happen upon this video, would the fact that he intended it as a joke make them any less creeped out?
NGGGGGGH. FUCK DUDE. UNGGGGH. SHIT. FUCK.That's really the problem a lot of these idiots don't take into account when posting these things to Youtube, I guess. At the exact moment you click the upload button, the video stops being your wacky, silly little webcam joke movie and starts being everyone else's nightmare.
Please, people, if you or a loved one has ever considered posting a video that you made on a drunken dare at 3 in the morning while high on Ny-Qil, don't. You are only fueling my misguided, and borderline-hypocritical internet rage. I am only 23, I am way too young to hate this much.
Critics Corner™
"he is touching his nipples ;) this is not a sex site!:) daddy ;) He is in orgasm! or at last sounds like he is faking it:) "
-allcingiboston"I just feel so wrong watching this lmao this shit is howls"
-tylerbridgeman"fake video is fake"
-apollosfury
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About This Column
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!