GOD BASS AMERICAPicture yourself having a big, beautiful house, three well-behaved kids, an attractive spouse, and two cars in your garage. That's the American dream. Lovely, isn't it? Now picture it all on fire because somebody (a.k.a. you) didn't pay attention when it came time to learn about firework safety. Way to go, dingus.
Today is the birthday of our glorious nation, and since guys around here are going to be playing with explosives pretty much all day long, I think it's time to review some firework safety basics, or at least the consequences of not knowing said basics. It's a well-known fact that the human brain responds best to advice when it's presented in a loosely-knit story by a cheesy rapping mascot, so that's what I've done here. It's also a printable coloring book, which means you can click each image to get a slightly bigger version if you so desire. They might come in handy for you during that boring period in-between the cheap liquor and the fireworks, or if you're babysitting a bunch of kids, or both. Enjoy, and I hope you learn something!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Copyright ©2023 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful