Steve: Looks like you messed up again, dude. The Peryton is real.
Zack: You know, come to think of it I might have seen a CNN report about an eagle with the head of a deer that casts a human shadow and eats hearts. That sounds right up Rick Sanchez's alley.
Steve: Don't kid around, there are real accounts of this thing attacking people.
Zack: You're right, this is extremely important and serious. Who was attacked by this thing?
Steve: Sailors.
Zack: It's always sailors.
Steve: There are accounts in history. I looked it up on Wikipedia and it says a rabbi was attacked.
Zack: He should have fought it off with his golem.
Steve: It says they were responsible for the fall of Rome.
Zack: Et tu, Peryton?
Zack: Does whatever insane version of Wikipedia you're reading mention if Perytons were responsible for our current economic crisis?
Steve: Don't be ridiculous. Perytons don't do investment banking. They're evil lost souls trapped in monster bodies.
Zack: Sounds like an investment banker to me.
This Week on Something Awful...
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Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
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About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
