"Overdressed at the Beach"
Steve: Heck yeah this is good. This is great. Hook me up with some brews, a hot babe in a bikini, and I'm ready to take on some aliens or whatever.
Zack: It's good to know that in the future they will have Big & Tall power armor so fat people don't feel left out of mecha combat.
Steve: Dang, dude, put my head in a diaper box and give me a baby gun in my giant suit of space armor and I will fight my way through a thousand Ducktales wolves to eat this girl's farts.
Zack: She's just a drawing, Steve.
Steve: So was A-ha dude but he busted through into reality just by caring enough about some chick.
Zack: So that's your plan?
Steve: Yeah, I'm gonna jump into a cartoon, then find this girl and then bring her back out by caring enough.
Zack: You know that A-ha video isn't real, right?Steve: Exactly, dude. It's a cartoon and then you break through into reality.
Zack: And then you eat her farts.Steve: Wellllll, bro, come on. That was a figure of speech. I wouldn't literally eat her farts, I'm just saying that's how far I would go.
Zack: So if she wanted you to eat her farts that would be something you'd be willing to experiment with.Steve: I mean, technically, if you want to get legalistic about it, yeah. But there had better be more to the evening than just chowing down on farts.
Zack: Sorry, my lawyers looked over your contract and there is nothing in there about "more." It's just fart swallowing and then gassy bellyaches. You can have her step on your balls and crush them and slam them in a door though.
Steve: Guess I'll be spending a little more time in Duckburg.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.