YouTube Tour: Dadrock Special!

This article is part of the YouTube Tour series.

DFH: Alright, close your eyes and think "dadrock."

DFH: Next, click this link and tell me if this isn't exactly what you pictured:

SH: first thing you see when you hit play is a coors light banner and a guy with sunglasses over the brim of his ball cap

SH: three of these guys are hot for teacher, the singer is just the school janitor

DFH: The singer's definitely not allowed within 100 yards of a school anymore.

DFH: Or, likely, any woman.

SH: performing this song just got him instantly added to the megan's law site

SH: now he has an ankle bracelet that gives him electric shocks whenever he does 'creepy rock monologues'

DFH: These guys are actually all pretty good, which makes me wonder how they ended up with an extra from Major League as the lead singer.

SH: Why is he only fat from the waist up? Why is he moonwalking? Is that a pom pom on the mic stand? I demand answers.

DFH: Life's little mysteries.

DFH: They've really got dadrock stage presence down pat, too

DFH: "Musicians stay in one place, singer paces nervously."

SH: hey, look what i found!

SH: looks like they replaced the singer

DFH: I think attention should be called to Bill "Heaven & Hell" Lanik's radical DAWGWILD shirt

DFH: He also named himself after his favorite side project

DFH: So did I, which is why my full name is Daryl "Fucking" "Rainbow" Hall

SH: Satellite"Flying Frog Brigade" High

DFH: Last but definitely not least, I'm guessing this one is an '80s tribute band

DFH: Complete with remarkably inappropriate leather pants.

SH: do you think these dudes have to keep their band secret from their children

DFH: I don't know about 'have to,' but they should.

SH: if one of these was my dads and i walked on him dancing around like that i would probably never ever want to have sex with anybody or anything

SH: ever again

SH: this is another band that suffers from what i've begun to refer to as a 'musical enthusiasm gap'

SH: this seems to be common amongst daddish bands, there's always one guy who's SUPER into it, a couple dudes who just kinda stand there, and then one guy who visibly does not give a fuck

DFH: It's almost always the drummer who doesn't give a fuck, too.

DFH: Like the drummer has faced the harsh reality that the dream is dead but he spent a lot of money on the drums workshop set and fuck it, he's gonna play it.

SH: also "hey free beer why not"

DFH: Is the weird line dancing something that Aerosmith actually did, or do you think they have little bits of choreography for each song?

SH: i mean i wouldn't rule out the former, but the latter is a certainty

DFH: How big do you think the argument was when they talked about the choreography?

DFH: Specifically, how many times do you think they said the word "faggy" per minute.

SH: lead guitarist is not having any of this

DFH: Toward the end the singer proves he really knows his way around a guitar.

SH: POINT THE MIC AT THE THING AND THE THING GETS LOUD WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING

SH: okay so basically every video we've watched looks like it's in the same place

SH: so i'm wondering - is there a secret dads-only rock club somewhere?

SH: where the wild turkey flows like water and the tv's always on dukes of hazzard reruns

DFH: There's a special section in the Yellow Pages for dadrock bands that you only get if you work for the local chamber of commerce.

DFH: Send up the block party signal and Cap'n Joey and the Easy Cruisers show up dutifully on Fridays around 5 for soundcheck

SH: dial 1-800-ROCK-DAD for all of your entertainment needs; also we can fix cabinets and stuff

– Daryl "Fucking" Hall and Satellite High