DAvid Letterman took his kid to the park and a pigeon made him pregnant. How does it feel, fucker? Your own medicine tastes like asshole!!So this guy, Letterman, tells disgusting raper jokes I guess. Apparently he told a joke about Willow on some TV show and said she went to a Yankees game and got pregnant because of a Mexican rapist at the game.

Sick shit. And the dude is like almost as old as John MacDonalds or whatever. You know who I'm talking about. He had those blue signs everywhere with Mrs. Palin and he was going to be President but I guess that shit felt through because look at Chrysler now. David Letterman is pretty much a rapist from saying what he said and it influences girls to get raped by old dudes like him and have Mexican babies.

Yeah, okay, Willow does get with the latin heat all the time. I remember I came over to see Bristol one time and she was blowing the Palin's gardener's cousin on the roof of their house. I was like what the fuck?? And she was like "oh, we were getting a raccoon off the roof and then I guess I just accidentally blew this dude" and I was like "oh okay blow me next" but she was like "no I am only 14 and my jaw is tired."

But as far as I know a girl can't get pregnant from blowing a dude unless she like spit the jizz out into one of those CSI tubes and then put it in a cybertron and spins out the jizz from the spit and then puts it in a needle and reinjects the jizz into her cooch. That's how they do it with pigs I read. And I don't think that dude was raping. I couldn't understand his accent so I guess it's possible, but I don't think that's what he said.

But pregnancy? I got no reason to believe Willow would do that shit with the cyber jizz. She's just a kid. Hand jobs and Bjs only until she's ready to settle down with some dude and take off the training wheels. WTF, Letterman. You freak.

Some ladies went and told David Letterman where he belongs (IN JAIL FOR RAPE!!)Mrs. Palin was justifiadly up in arms about these disgusting remarks from David Letterman joking about her daughter being raped.

Actually, you know what, I just realized that the Palin's garderner's cousin was Indian. Like the tech support dudes not the scalper dudes. It was like Hamanshapur gardening or something like that. So now I am about three times as pissed, because I don't think Willow even seen a Mexican until the day she went to that Yankees game, so who could blame her for being seduced by their exotic looks?

I know the first time I saw a Japanese girl I thought they were some special breed of miniature people using genetics and shit. You just get sort of confused about different cultures cuz of wrongful stereotypes. So, like, I understand why Willow got pregnant because all she was exposed to was Zorro and this one soap opera we get in Alaska called Los Duplos de Tuplos or something. Fuck if I know. It has got that dude from CHIPS on it and he gets mad slip on his ship.

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About This Column

Levi "HOckey" Johnston is a pro writer now and hockey expert since forever. He comments regularly on family life, politics, Alaska, hockey, vag, babies, babes, 4x4s, hunting, and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and he was engaged to Bristol Palin and had one (two) kids with her, so...I can put anything here? He also fights like a devil and pounds poon like a demon. He's pretty much unbelievable. His life is a raw adventure to the root.

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