I was at the ticket counter for Southwest Airlines taking 9,000 things out of my purse while people waited in line and your ticket agent asked for the names of my children and said, in a very unpleasant tone of doubtfulness, "Could you please repeat those names??" They made me say the names of all of my children out loud in front of everyone and then they laughed. I said "if I can hear and see you laughing at the names of my beautiful children then my children can hear this too and they are ashamed of your cruelty.
The casual mistreatment I received from these airline employees is unacceptable. After laughing at the names of my children (and getting some wrong) they allowed me to board the plane but insisted we clean off our pants. I said no my children live in mud pits and their bodies are caked in mud all the time how dare you criticize the way I am mothering my children. Then when my children began our screaming ritual which we do before and after each flight we were asked in a snide and hurtful tone to "Please quiet down" and claimed we were "horrifying the other passengers."
Then when my eldest son arrived from a different location he was stopped at security and subjected to a three hour humiliating search and interrogation because his name is "I HAVE A BOMB INSIDE MY BODY" which is what we call him for short. They then made him get a birth certificate and prove that his full name is actually "I HAVE A BOMB INSIDE MY BODY, I WAS FORCED TO SWALLOW IT AT GUNPOINT, I DO NOT KNOW WHEN IT WILL DETONATE. PLEASE HELP ME."
This is his full name and it is a beautiful name and if you do not show this name the respect it deserves I will go on Youtube and I will drag all of you. I will humiliate you the way my son was humiliated. Just because we were screaming and have "funny" names, just because I demanded to bite the pilot before the flight took off, just because my son's stomach was beeping because ate a watch when he was a child, does not entitle your airline to subject us to this cruel treatment. Imagine if it was your son or an Arab boy being subjected to this treatment.
I will never fly Southwest again. Unless you want to compensate me for my suffering with an enormous amount of free miles.
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.