I was at the ticket counter for Southwest Airlines taking 9,000 things out of my purse while people waited in line and your ticket agent asked for the names of my children and said, in a very unpleasant tone of doubtfulness, "Could you please repeat those names??" They made me say the names of all of my children out loud in front of everyone and then they laughed. I said "if I can hear and see you laughing at the names of my beautiful children then my children can hear this too and they are ashamed of your cruelty.

Look at these wonderful names of my beautiful babies:
  • Big Time Bitch
  • 80085
  • $andwitch
  • Loud Pooping Noises
  • Goldenpalace.com
  • The Absolute Gunt
  • Brazzers Dawg
  • iPadrick
  • Dexter Jettster the Owner of Dex's Diner on Coruscant
Oh and they laughed and laughed about that last one. I told them, "No, his name is not Dexter Jettster, that is a character from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones and does my son look like a VFX critter from 2002 to you? My son's name is 'Dexter Jettster the Owner of Dex's Diner on Coruscant' and you will show him the respect to call him by his full name irregardless of whether or not this is 42 characters longer than you can print on a ticket."

The casual mistreatment I received from these airline employees is unacceptable. After laughing at the names of my children (and getting some wrong) they allowed me to board the plane but insisted we clean off our pants. I said no my children live in mud pits and their bodies are caked in mud all the time how dare you criticize the way I am mothering my children. Then when my children began our screaming ritual which we do before and after each flight we were asked in a snide and hurtful tone to "Please quiet down" and claimed we were "horrifying the other passengers."

Then when my eldest son arrived from a different location he was stopped at security and subjected to a three hour humiliating search and interrogation because his name is "I HAVE A BOMB INSIDE MY BODY" which is what we call him for short. They then made him get a birth certificate and prove that his full name is actually "I HAVE A BOMB INSIDE MY BODY, I WAS FORCED TO SWALLOW IT AT GUNPOINT, I DO NOT KNOW WHEN IT WILL DETONATE. PLEASE HELP ME."

This is his full name and it is a beautiful name and if you do not show this name the respect it deserves I will go on Youtube and I will drag all of you. I will humiliate you the way my son was humiliated. Just because we were screaming and have "funny" names, just because I demanded to bite the pilot before the flight took off, just because my son's stomach was beeping because ate a watch when he was a child, does not entitle your airline to subject us to this cruel treatment. Imagine if it was your son or an Arab boy being subjected to this treatment.

I will never fly Southwest again. Unless you want to compensate me for my suffering with an enormous amount of free miles.

– Angry Airline Mom (@sexyfacts4u)

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