BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: Doublewide

This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.

Name: Doublewide
Breed: Bulldog
Age: 7
Gender: Male
Relationship Status: Single
Location: In and around Shaggy Butte
Rating: (1.3 out of 5 bones)
ePets: Doublewide has been ePetted 3 times.

EDITOR'S REVIEW: Doublewide is as well known for his temper as he is for his appetite. An edacious sort, he is rarely seen far from food, and is known to make a meal out of virtually anything. This vicious creature would prove more intimidating if not for his debilitating weight, which greatly diminishes his ability to give chase. I have observed Doublewide tiring out after a mere minute of activity, retreating then to some nearby shade to pant profusely and cough up great wads of phlegm like some old tuberculosis patient. When he can throw his weight around, he does so to great effect. Our advice is to avoid getting anywhere near Doublewide. Given his voracious hunger, he is likely to take your arm off.

--BarkWire Senior Editor Chris Bluefield

User Reviews

18 Reviews for Doublewide - Displaying 9-13

This dog attacked Auspice!
Posted by Pete [Read other reviews by Pete]
(1/2 Bone)

Some of you may have seen my post over in Auspice's profile. Doublewide, Throughput, and Vermin all attacked Auspice and nearly killed him. Auspice survived the attack, and was able to hold the dogs off long enough for some children he was watching over to run home and get help. Naturally it was Throughput and Vermin that did most of the damage. Doublewide does a lot better eating things that aren't living and can't put up a fight.

If you see this dog please call the police, or kill him. He is a threat to the community! Auspice is a treasure and deserves better.

WATCH OUT FOR SPIKES EVERYONE!

Posted by almam [Read other reviews by almam]
(1 Bone)

be careful around this dog. not only does he try to eat just about everything, he has a collar with spikes on it and they are v. sharp!!!!

Horrifying Incident at Dog Park
Posted by TenaciousMom [Read other reviews by TenaciousMom]
(1/2 Bone)

I took my darling Tenacity out for a walk at the dog park the other morning. She was running all about the park, graceful as ever, when she stopped by some bushes to read the latest news (I've always said dogs do their reading with their noses). Out of nowhere, this horrendous mass of fur and sweat assaulted my darling angel, mounting her before she even had the chance to realize what was happening. I rushed to her aid screaming at the beast to let her go. Thank the heavens, because he seemed to tire out after only a few seconds, flopping over on his side and suffering what looked like a heart attack. I quickly grabbed my precious angel and ran away. I thought maybe he was dying, but it appears from posts on this site that such incidents are common with him.

I immediately took Tenacity to the vet and demanded they perform a rape kit. They said they did not do that for dogs, but did confirm that her pelvis had fractured under the weight of that oafish beast. She is now wearing an uncomfortable cast and suffering much undue trauma. If you see that disgustingly corpulent dog anywhere, keep him away from your darling ones! He is nothing short of a monster and needs to be brought to justice immediately!

MOST HILARIOUS DOG
Posted by legalizeit [Read other reviews by legalizeit]
(5 Bones)

Never in a million years did I ever think I would see a dog more hilarious than Clumpy was in his glory days. Doublewide is just such an awesome dog. Me and some of my bros ran into him and he tried to attack us, but he was just so fat and stupid we couldn't stop laughing. Then we fed him some garbage and he totally ate it, so we spent like two hours seeing what he would eat. Turns out he will eat anything you stick in front of his face. We fed this stupid dog a ton of rotten fruit, a dead rat, and a box of crickets we bought from a pet store. My bro tried to film the whole thing on his cell phone, but when he stuck it in Doublewide's face, that dog just ****en hacked up a huge bucket of spit all over the phone and ruined it. My bro kicked the dog in the face and we all laughed. What a dumb ****en dog. Awesomely hilarious though.

Also this dog sweats. I mean he seriously sweats like a person. Not just out of his mouth!

RUINING MY BUSINESS AND MY LIFE
Posted by CafeDan [Read other reviews by CafeDan]
(1/2 Bone)

This dog has been ruining my business for several weeks! Every day he comes by and I have to give him payment or he and his cronies will hang around harassing my customers, if not scaring them off entirely. I call the police and say "THESE ORNERY DOGS WON'T GIVE ME PEACE!" and they say it is not their problem. Animal control won't do anything either. In order to keep my customers I have to pay these dogs off, and each day they demand more and more, hanging around longer and longer. Doublewide is the worst, since it's not enough to just give him some scraps. He eats so much I'm worried half my inventory will be going to this rotten dog. I keep thinking no more! No more will I give this awful dog protection payments, but my wife won't let me risk my life and my business like that.