 From: Steve Norris <indiana_biker@hotmail.com>Subj: ok i will tell you about cakefarts Body: I liked the two scenarios: 1. the fart at the cake store. 2. The cake-sitting fart. I'm not that much into fart domination, but I like to fantasize that a Dominatrix farts on food and lets her slave eat it afterwards. I don't know the Queen of Farts that well. We chat once in a blue moon. She used to have a forum and that's |
He was losing focus. He was becoming inquisitive. I needed to wrest back control of the conversation before I lost my chance at cakefarting nirvana. I tried the hard sell--with disastrous results.
 From: the enigmatic cakelordSubj: PULL IT TOGETHER STEVE Body: farting is the window to a man's soul (as de tocqueville said) and i want to peer into yours and put on a diving suit and wander flippering through your acrid dreams also what level of intensity is allowed in cakefarting? i've taken some pretty dynamic farts in my life but never onto cakes, i presume that pooping is frowned upon but what about a light but flavorful mist? please clarify! oh and also i hope you asphyxiate on your own farts one night with tears streaming from your irritated eyes and that your last thought is the strained revelation that you are human garbage |
I think I came on too hard. Instead of sharing his secrets, Cakefartin' Steve retreated into anger and then madness. His emails became more and more disjointed and incoherent, possibly because he was suffering from methane poisoning. What follows are some excerpts from the dozens of emails he sent me in response.
 From: Steve Norris <indiana_biker@hotmail.com>Subj: what the hell man Body: ...Jesus you sound like Freud..lol Are you a man or a woman? I'm not THAT desperate. I don't sniff farts ATALL in public. I just fantasize about women farting on food among other things to get off. Tell me more about yourself. I just watched Ashleigh's meatball farts. Pretty sexy girl, ain't she?... ...The only way I would tolerate your abuse is if you're a Dominatrix woman. If you are then I will smell your farts. If not, you know where to go... ...Common man I was joking....I like to smell women farts... ...You're pathetic... |
After that last whimpering curse, Steve was silent for days. I thought perhaps he was ashamed. Perhaps he had forgotten. Perhaps he had died. And then I received a new email, thundering with the righteous fury of a cakefarter scorned.
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