Challenging Literature For You, Too Read

Any forum poster worth their salt will gladly inform you (without being asked) that genre fiction is, in fact, garbage for children. You simply are not reading a real book unless it is difficult and at least mildly unpleasant. Test your READING MACHISMO with these truly challenging works.

Why It's Challenging: The text is super tiny. Like, so small you'd have to look at it with a microscope, using binoculars. While squinting.

Why It's Challenging: Every edition is printed on razor sharp paper that slices your hands to ribbons.

Why It's Challenging: Every third page is printed upside down. Every other page is printed backwards.

Why It's Challenging: The book's spine is attached by a chain to an unusually angry wasp.

Why It's Challenging: Every letter in every word is represented by an algebra equation that must be solved by the reader.

Why It's Challenging: Patented Crumble Paper crumbles at the touch of human fingers, crumbles faster at the touch of gloved fingers, and burns on contact with oxygen.

Why It's Challenging: Unevenly weighted. The top of half of the book weighs thirty pounds, while the bottom half is full of helium.

Why It's Challenging: The first book to utilize a unique printing method in which the words are squeezed into the interior of the page, completely invisible to those who look at the surface.

Why It's Challenging: Nearly every sentence ends in "LOL". Not difficult to understand, just grating.

Why It's Challenging: Vibrates at the exact frequency needed to separate human skin from muscle.

Why It's Challenging: The sole copy is located at the heart of the sun.

Why It's Challenging: Can only be read while sprinting faster than 20 miles per hour.

Why It's Challenging: Built-in page throttle only allows readers to see three and a half words per day, taking a total of one hundred years to read.

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)