Don Draper Pitches Video Game Marketing

Dragon's Crown


These are enormous breasts from the video game Soul Calibur V. The developers have gone with the rarely-seen"under and side" breast combo. Interesting presentation, but I could have picked breasts out from any of dozens of other fighting games, action games, real time strategy games, detective mystery games, puzzle games, or sports franchise management games.

Enormous breasts have been a mainstay of gaming since the first chainmail bikini was stretched to its limits. All of your competitors are using breasts. Do you think breasts can still sell?

The answer is, "Yes."

From the moment a man is born he craves breasts. This continues through adolescence and into the stunted dependency of modern adulthood. Your competitors are using this knowledge to relentlessly push every product they have.

But what if there was something more than a breast? Something bigger that you could offer? Something softer and jigglier, that men can only aspire to in fantasy. What if a woman, an elf or wizardess perhaps, was nothing but breasts? In fantasy we are no longer constrained by the boundaries of reality, so why should breasts be any different?

Gentlemen, I give you...the super breast: