Hi, I'm Bronson Custard and I want to welcome you to the hottest escort review site on the Internet. Our reviews are all written by the clients of these fine ladies. If you're looking for a companion in your area and don't feel you can trust the reviews of professional escort critics, then you've come to the right place!

We have thousands of escort profiles available, so I'm sure you will find just what you're looking for! Remember, have fun, and be safe!


Rating:
Names: Beef Singlet, Bacon Lettuce, Her Majesty Dire
Areas: Cleveland, Burningham, West Maw
Height: 71 inches
Weight: 864 ounces
Hair: Head, mostly
Face: British, mantid
Eyes: Brown, tilted
Bust: Some around the edges

Specialties:
  • BJ/HJ
  • Shoulder dislocation
  • Beaking

User Comments

UserRecommendExperience
thasniffer
YESGreat smells! Touched my hand and breathed in a bag for hours. Like a rat rotting in an oak barrel. Came twice! Loves to talk about meth.
megamex
YES
She's not the best looking girl, but she makes up for what she lacks in looks with a chittering blowjob that never snagged once despite all the hooked teeth. Puked into my glove compartment.
KINGSEXNO
Look like someone tried to make a mask out of an egg. Toes up the back. "FROG IT IT!"
thrillhoYES
Great kisser. Shared her breakfast.
japan_travelsYESVery astute. Only high enough. Entry complete and fulfillment. Do not ever give up.
partyguy1NO
Brought her baby and he stared at me the whole time. No thanks!



Rating:
Names: Charity Dotorg, America Dotus
Areas: Detroit, Slimer's Manse, The Pickle Barrel
Height: 5'14"8"'11""
Weight: Reasonable
Hair: Brown
Face: Red, pitted
Eyes: Closed
Bust: Small, pointy, slightly cold

Specialties:
  • Rustling
  • Wrestling
  • Butt

User Comments

UserRecommendExperience
KINGSEX
NOCouldn't stop laughing the whole time she was rubbing her butt on me. Like a giant chocolate hamburger trying to eat me. "FROG IT IT!"
rob_gurt
YES
Very polite. Clean as can be expected. My wife really enjoyed looking at her butt through the one way mirror.
thasnifferYES
Tequila shooters with a tangy wiff of bile. Very generous with the wrestling and the butt.
japan_travelsYES
Dave Matthew band lover. Share the sound and share the entry into cove. Explodes three time. Butt. Not so messy.
ChuckYESHey guys, what's going on. Would really like to meet this girl and hold her hand. I'm working on a poem to woo her. Any help appreciated.


More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful