Failed TV Programs in the Tradition of Hogan's Heroes

[2] [5] [37] THE FRANK FILES - Drama 1:00

This gumshoe is picking up the slack!The creators of Mannix bring a fresh new retelling of the Anne Frank story to Friday nights on CBS. Anne Frank is a detective who plays by her own rules, with her only friend being her trusty sidekick robot/crime diary "KITTY 4000" (Krime Investigating Talking Technology Yiddishbot) which she uses to gather clues about the vast underground attic-based crime syndicate. In this premiere episode, the Munich art museum is robbed, but being confined to an attic doesn't stop Anne from getting involved with the case when stolen art is found in KITTY 4000's compu-partment! Next week: It's surf's up at the attic's annual beach party! But when Beach Boy Brian Wilson is found murdered, only Frank can break the case (Guest Star: Brian Wilson). "If there's a mystery happening, it had better not be far!" Anne Frank: Jodie Foster. KITTY 4000: Sterling Holloway (voice).

[8] [15] [19] POL POT'S PLACE - Comedy :30

Spooks, you're in hot water this time! Life can be hard if you're a certain Cambodian dictator dealing with the day to day rat race of killing thousands upon thousands of your own people. But when Pol Pot inherits a hotel from his dead grandfather, he finds himself with a whole new mess of problems! And the stress of running a hotel is nothing compared to the antics of a certain group of mischievous ghosts that he just can't get out of his hair! Pilot: Pol Pot's dinner party goes horribly wrong when Spooks McGraw (Jonathan Winters) gives the unwanted class attendees enough food to live off of! Can these ghostly pranks mesh with Pol Pot's Marxist philosophy? Next Week: Spooks and the gang are up to their old tricks again when Pol Pot leaves them in charge of the condemned digging their own graves, but boy will he be surprised when he comes back to see the place a mess after one of Spook's parties! Pol Pot's Place: Laughter checks in, but it doesn't check out! Pol Pot: Pat Morita.

[56] [21] [33] OPERATION DESERT FUN! - Comedy :30

We bet you can't Kuwait to watch! Chad Lankman (Pauly Shore) is just a fun-loving surfer dude from the west coat, until "The Weasel" catches a wave that washes him up on the shores of Iraq! Now, one way or another, Chad has to teach those Iraqis how Californians like to party, all while trying not to cheese off his Commanding Officer! Pilot: In an effort to clean up Chad's act, Commanding Officer Gruffman puts Chad in charge of the ballistic weapons department. But Gruffman nearly blows his top when Chad spends the PATRIOT Missile budget on... a hippo?! Let's hope that hippo knows how to party, "buuuuudy!" Next Week: Chad comes down with a case of desert fever, leaving Gruffman to sneak into one of Saddam Hussein's (Guest Star: Tom Selleck) palaces for the cure. But when Gruffman has to pose as a woman things get hairy… in more ways than one!

[30] [58] [27] MY SO-CALLED DICTATORSHIP - Drama 1:00

This is it. This is my life. Why did I, like, expect more by this point? Just because Fidel Castro may be known as an enemy of the United States and a promoter of Communism, that doesn't mean that there's also a sensitive side we don't get to see. In this new ABC drama, actor Dom DeLuise plays the infamous dictator, showing us the angst of suppressing dissent and beard maintenance. Premiere episode: Fidel has it all: fame, power, and a magnificently-stocked humidor. When he notices all the murals in Cuba are of Che Guevara, the only thing that can pick up his spirits is the upcoming Spring Fling. But will Susie Wilkins go with him? If special guest stars, A Flock of Seagulls, have anything to say about it, he sure will! We sure hope you don't run, run so far away! Next week: There's no cure for the summertime blues, especially when Fidel finds out his best friend is moving… to the United States?! Will Fidel be able to find the perfect going-away gift?

[45] [49] [61] WHO'S THE FURHER? - Comedy :30

Hitleeeeeer! You've got some 'splaining to do!When Paul Lynde is Hitler, anything can happen, and it usually does on "Who's the Fuhrer!" Invading Poland was easy compared to putting up with such a pack of goofs! There's Rommel, Hitler's wacky Hawaiian shirt-wearing neighbor, always looking to get rich quick, Himmler, Hitler's tight-fisted boss, and Schnauzie, who, in the tradition of The Great Gazoo, is a talking German Shepherd from space that only Hitler can see! On "Who's the Furher," there's no telling what mischief these screwballs will get into! Pilot: Hitler has to be at the awards ceremony of the National German Art show, but he also made a hot date with his niece on the same night! When Schnauzie creates a Hitler robot to take his place, someone sets the switch to "wacky" and Himmler is there to witness the chaos. Will Hitler get canned and have to join his buddy Rommel's "Tunnel to Atlantis" scheme? All this and more on "Who's the Fuhrer." It's a gas! Next week: Pre-empted by a broadcast from the Anti-Defamation League.

[53] [46] [7] AFTER AFTER M*A*S*H - Documentary 2:00

A drunk Jamie Farr (Jamie Farr) is served drinks by Alan Alda (Alan Alda) as he sits on an empty sound stage and talks about how much he hated making "After M*A*S*H."