Outdated GPS Devices: Where Are They Now?

Magellan NAV 1000

Where is it now?

40.7 Latitude, -74 Longitude

Benefon Esc

Where is it now?

-9.03 Latitude, 35.3 Longitude

TomTom Navigator PDA Kit

Where is it now?

67.2 Latitude, 27.9 Longitude

Garmin StreetPilot

Where is it now?

It's... in the same building as you. How is that possible?

No, wait. Its position changed. It's on the move. Ten meters. Six meters. Behind you!

What do you mean you don't see it? It's right there! Three meters! It's right on top of you!

Wait. It must be...

It's in the vents! Run!

You're in the closet now? Good. Listen, I think the Garmin has a weakness we can exploit. This will be risky, but it's all we've got. Look around the closet for some old first generation Tivos. CD burners. Palm Pilots. Zip Drives. Dreamcast VMUs. Good, now strap them to your body. Cover every inch of your flesh in outdated electronics. If my theory is correct, the Garmin won't be able to see you.

Here it comes! It's smashing the closet door? I know this is terrifying, but you've got to stay quiet and trust in the plan.

It's in. Keep your eyes closed. Hold your breath as long as you can. It's only inches away from your face now. Keep it together...

It worked! The Garmin is heading toward the kitchen. Get ready to sneak out... wait.

It stopped. Almost as if it realized something.

Why did it stop? You covered yourself in old electronics, right? And the thing on your head was an SNES. An SNES Classic Edition. Oh. Oh no.

It's been an honor serving you, you poor bastard.

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)