25 Karate Moves to Air Out Your Soiled Pants

Urine? Or perhaps an abundance of crotch sweat? Either way, it's a good thing you're in a karate class. This is the ideal situation to covertly get some airflow down there, speeding up the evaporation process by as much as 4%.

Just do as many of these moves as you can. Be sure to yell as loudly as you can mid-move, diverting attention away from your crotch and towards your face.

Figure A, Moves 1-5:

001 - Air Slasher, 002 - Sonic Boom, 003 - Matador Flash, 004 - Burning Kick, 005 - Wind Shear

Figure B, Moves 6-10:

006 - Falling Sky, 007 - Banishing Flat, 008 - Down Burst, 009 - Cold Low, 010 - Yoga Blast

Figure C, Moves 11-15:

011 - Electric Thunder, 012 - Spinning Bird Kick, 013 - Devil Reverse, 014 - Low Tiger Shot, 015 - Double Typhoon

Figure D, Moves 16-20:

016 - Hurricane Kick, 017 - Rolling Crystal Flash, 018 - Scarlet Terror, 019 - Burst Time, 020 - Flash Explosion

Figure E, Moves 21-25:

021 - Air Eagle Spike, 022 - Split River, 023 - Yoga Catastrophe, 024 - Peach Gator, 025 - Jacknife Maximum

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)