SkyMall Product Reviews: Yeti Tree Hugger

This article is part of the SkyMall Product Reviews series.

This one you've got to see to believe. In fact, your neighbors and passers-by probably will believe it -- and run! This realistic-looking 3-piece tree art has a keyhole hanger on the back of each piece so you can hang it directly onto the trunk of a tree. Your neighborhood will never, ever be the same.

Customer Review:
By hi_flyer from Raleigh, NC

does it work on humans? will the yedi hug me? wore out three boyfriend pillows and need something new to comfort me as i continue to get over a relationship that ended way too soon in 2010. stephen if you're reading this it's not too late. i'm here for you.

Age: 31-35

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Customer Review:
By SpiritMinder from Asheville, NC

This is absolutely offensive. I'm a professional nature aficionado, and I don't need a science book to tell me what animals do and don't exist in this world. THERE IS AMPLE evidence for the yeti, more than there are for alot of other animals (for example, there is almost no evidence supporting the "tapir" being real, and believe it or not, no one has ever actually seen an ant eater. Gnomes are real, though).

I know intuitively that yetis are real because of Native American myth, cave paintings, etc. I am also, as my doctor and mother-in-law will attest, deeply connected to the Earth on a spiritual level. Yetis are great, proud and extremely spiritual beings. We know from studying dermal markings in mud and from their leavings that the yeti race is very communal and they live in absolute harmony with the snowy surroundings. It's because they are so noble and conscientious that they remain largely undetected to all but a small percentage of open-minded human beings. I have known people online who have been accepted by yetis and even allowed to eat with yeti tribes and take yeti wives.

This product insults the wise and noble Yeti race by portraying them as disgusting perverts. Just look at his face and eyes. He's clearly hoping to catch a peek of some young girl's backside as she bends over to pick up some peaches. Just staring endlessly at her legs and buttocks, letting his eyes wander all up and down as she slowly eats that peach, juices dripping down her chin. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

It affixed easy enough to my tree, so it gets an extra star for that at least. Still, it's garbage.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Review:
By TechDad from Austin, TX

Not Blue Tooth compatible. No app support. Give me a break.

Age: 36-40

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Customer Review:
By easyrider67 from Boca Raton, FL

Extremely arousing. Perfect yard decoration.

Age: 56-60

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Customer Review:
By grandpa gus from La Porte, IN

Love it. I have about 3 of these rascals up on each tree in my yard. It's never looked more lively, and you can't turn around without a dozen yetis giving you a good looking over. My grandkids run around screaming and having a riot. I'm the talk of the town!

REPEAL Obamacare and Ben Ghazi.

Age: 66-70

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Customer Review:
By Forrest Atkins from Thermopolis, WY

I'm extremely angry SkyMall doesn't offer a life-size full-body model Yeti. They provide the same for Bigfoot, an obviously fake creature, but not the Yeti, an irrefutable creature. The evidence in support of yetis is overwhelming, and has been attested to by countless scientists and celebrities. I'm not sure what kind of agenda SkyMall is pushing here, but I've had just about enough of it. Give me full-body yeti statue or you can kiss my clams goodbye.

UPDATE: It appears I was incorrect. Phew! Just ordered 24 life-size Abominable Snowman Yeti (item: 27180grp), saving my dream wedding.

Age: 46-50

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Customer Review:
By Ralph Hornsby from Snake Canyon, MT

Didn't like the way it made my tree look. Too g-damn judgmental. Had to chop it down. Send me a new tree, SkyMall. RIGHT NOW.

Age: 51-55

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Customer Review:
By Bill from Lubbock, TX

Would prefer a lady version of the yeti. Would prefer to have a lady yeti more than a man yeti since a lady yeti would be more attractive and hopefully have a beautiful face. Would like to install the lady yeti in my bathroom for reasons that should be obvious to any skymall shopper.

Age: 31-35

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Customer Review:
By flannelmanjack from Barre, VT

EXTREMELY ANGRY HERE. DO NOT BUY THIS PRODUCT, NO MATTER HOW HANDSOME YOU THINK IT IS.

It makes unauthorized use of my likeness without my permission. I never consented or agreed to license my image to SkyMall, and yet they go and make this product and sell it for a small fortune, giving me zero percentage of the profit. They even captured the fact I like to angrily peer around trees. If you buy this, you are participating in the illegal theft of my good looks, and that makes you an accessory to crime. Proceed at your own risk, amigo.

Age: 46-50

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Customer Review:
By Agnes from Eau Claire, WI

Terrible. Just terrible.

My neighbor installed one of these and I hate it. It gives me the willies every time I look outside, like some kind of nosy minority staring at me. I give both this product and my ethnic neighbor 1 star.

Age: 56-60

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)